Wifely smiles

Today's PSA

Recognize and control your wife's moods

1. Contempt: Lifted brows, upper lip lifted. How to cause: It's enough just to wipe the sweat off your head with the tip of your tie. 2. Controlled anger: Tightly shut lips, flared nostrils. How to cause: Ask your wife who that really cute girl was she was talking to at the party. 3. FEAR: Eyes wide open,eye- brows  slightly raised, lips pointing downward. How to cause: Pick up the phone and say,"Wolfgang, I understand your brothers have no place to stay. They can live with us." 4. Sarcastic smile: Mouth half open, eyes slightly squinting How to cause: Tell her you're going to have just one beer with your buddies, and will be home in an hour. 5. Obligatory Smile: Lips only faintly smiling, eyes vacant How to cause: Invite your boss to dinner 6. Derision: Lips shut and askew, eyes in half-squint How to cause: Refuse to pay $50 extra for a hotel room with an ocean view. 7. Asking nicely: Lifted brow, trembling chin How to cause: Promise something then change your mind 8. Pleading: Wrinkled forehead, lips slightly open, eyes moist. How to cause: Agree to change your mind (see 7), then change your mind again. 9. Baffled anger: One eye squinted, jaw forward. How to cause: You've got me.

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