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Thursday, September 13, 2007
4 comments:
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Anonymous said...
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Bill and I bought a new car and returned to the dealer the next day because we couldn't get the radio to work. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated. "Nelson," the salesman said to the radio. The radio replied, "Ricky or Willie?" "Willie!" he continued and "On The Road Again" came from the speakers. Then he said, "Ray Charles!", and in an instant "Georgia On My Mind" replaced Willie Nelson. We drove away happily, and for the next few days, every time we'd say, "Beethoven," We'd get beautiful classical music, and if we said, "Beatles," we'd get one of their awesome songs. Yesterday, a couple ran a red light and nearly creamed our car but we swerved in time to avoid them, yelling, "Ass Holes!" Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and The Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on Scotch.
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9/13/07, 10:41 AM
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Anonymous said...
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This is a true story. Buddy of mine retired. Now he is quite the little scab picker, he's never so happy as when he's found somebody's weakness and starts pouring salt in the wound. Anyway, ole Jerry starts noticing that his neighbor has started cleaning up the house. The trim is freshly painted, the gutters are clean, the lawn is fertilized and kept mowed and watered, and edged. Stuff like that, and the neighbor is not at all known for keeping things spiffy. So ole Jerry catches the neighbor and askes if he's getting ready to sell the house, and the neighbor gets kinda evasive. Ole Jerry the shark smells blood and goes in for the kill at that point. Eventually the neighbor says, "you remember that prescription I told you I was getting?" and Jerry sez yeah, how's that working out, Jerry being of the age he's taking more than a passing interest in such prescriptions. "Not workin' worth a crap" the neighbor says. Oh, it doesn't work? asks Jerry. "Oh, it works fine" says the neighbor. But it seems his wife disarmed him of the pill bottle and gave him a list. The neighbor crosses a job off the list, he gets a pill. He crosses another job off the list, he gets another pill, etc etc. True story!
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9/13/07, 4:10 PM
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Anonymous said...
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I always let sweetie have the last word in our conversations--he says, "Yes, dear, would you like chocolate with that."
Perfect.
mary -
9/13/07, 9:36 PM
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Desert Cat said...
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Tar (and elastomeric roof coating) go everywhere.
I have special clothes for these tasks that I have to keep reminding Daisycat not to throw away ("yes they're coated with crap, but that's for next time I get the urge to coat my clothing in crap.") -
9/14/07, 5:58 PM
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