Saturday, February 23, 2008

Some Fun

Today's Drugs For Women



DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decrease s intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person."

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.

I think you can get them
here, or something even better.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nancy, hrmm. Hillary, hrmm. No, I think I'm gonna stay straight.

Anonymous said...

For my fellow C&S'ers I made a mistake. I ordered an absentee ballot here in Ohio. They asked which party.
Like most readers at the Puffington Host, I'm intellectually challenged, so I chose Republican.
So, I can't vote against Hillary on May 4. I could kick myself.

El Jefe said...

Forgot one: NOASSATALL

Take 2 pills and your jean size reduces one full size

(I was breast fed while my mother was taking these thus I've got a plank for an ass)

Anonymous said...

Her book is upsidedown. Not that I noticed that first or anything.

Ken

Rodger the Real King of France said...

Good for you Ken, that's why I had it filed in my "Blonde Joke" file.

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