Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: Cheap Security

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Cheap Security

Home Security

“

FROM THE NRA: HOW TO INSTALL THE NEW HOME SECURITY SYSTEM:

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots

2. Place them on your front porch along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads: 'Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duknd Se alim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood.'

PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.'

INSTALLATION COMPLETE!!!!

”

Rodger the Real King of France 7/16/2008 12:24:00 PM 7 Comments

"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
Argus Hamilton

7 comments:

Juice said...: I like it! :D; 7/16/08, 12:37 PM
Anonymous said...: Posers!
RAK; 7/16/08, 2:14 PM
Anonymous said...: 10 years runnin' and no break-ins.

ols-mo-william; 7/16/08, 4:43 PM
Anonymous said...: That is great but they don't speak English here, or at least can't read.; 7/16/08, 6:59 PM
Anonymous said...: I think were I a burglar, the claw hammer would seal the deal.; 7/16/08, 8:34 PM
Anonymous said...: I have stickers on the sliding glass doors and the door on the back of the garage (where no one has any damn business being) that say "If you come through this door, you will be killed!" written in both English and Mexican (yes, Mexican).; 7/16/08, 8:40 PM
Anonymous said...: I have a motion detector that sets an old tape recorder in motion. It play the racking of a round in the old 12 gauge.
The only night I regretted it was about 15 years ago when a sheriffs deputy knocked on the door. After he cleaned his drawers, he eventually had a mild sense of humor.
Chuck from Tacoma; 7/17/08, 12:46 AM

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Cheap Security

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