Monday, July 21, 2008

I need a shower

Who’s Afraid of Jimmy Carter?

The provocative former president shadows Obama as a walking McCain talking point. But having lived longer than he ever imagined possible, Carter has no interest in reining himself in.

A better question is
Who Wishes Jimmy Carter Had Been Ground
Into the Dirt By An Israeli Bulldozer at Birth?

STONE HIM!

But it wasn't. The point of this New York Magazine waste of wood pulp is to make, I guess, sense of  how a peace loving peoples like Jummy could find himself used as an antidote to the deadly virus Obamus Punkassis?
Given Carter’s devotion to peaceful agreement among parties, it is interesting how frequently conflict seeks him out. And while Carter is going about his habitual workweek at the center, outside this hermetic, self-created world, he and his political legacy have suddenly been pulled blinking onto center stage by John McCain’s presidential campaign.

By June 9, six days after Obama secured the nomination (and Carter’s endorsement), McCain had found his sound bite. In an interview on NBC Nightly News, apropos of nothing, McCain said, “Senator Obama says that I’m running for Bush’s third term. It seems to me he’s running for Jimmy Carter’s second.” Then again, nine days later, McCain told an audience at a Chicago fund-raiser that Obama’s policies made him “think if [Obama] would be elected, it’d be a second Jimmy Carter term.” That same week, in a speech on energy policy given in Houston, McCain, referring to Obama’s energy plans, said, “If the plan sounds familiar, it’s because that was President Jimmy Carter’s big idea, too—and a lot of good it did us.” A few days later, McCain told the Las Vegas Sun that “Carter was a lousy president … This is the same guy who kissed Brezhnev.”
  I doubt there's a single piece of ripe fruit to be found here, but look if you want.  I just liked the picture, and the premise that Carter is somehow a victim.  It's also another opportunity to say what a disgusting piece of corn studded poop Jimmy Carter is while he's still alive, and  I can't be accused of showing disrespect to his rotting corpse. 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Victim?....Yes, sad to say, another hapless victim of Cephalicosteosis (refered to as the Goober Syndrome...see picture above for typical physical symptoms),associated with prolonged peanut contact.When this disease is in it's terminal stages,which can last for up to forty years, the patient is overwhelmed with states of confusion and an euphoric feeling of being an 'international statesman' causing great annoyance to the sane people of his home country and the great delight and amusment of it's affimed and confirmed enemies.... Those enlightened by past experience with this ailment, recommend that victim be kept away from radio, tv, and town hall facilities as well as airplanes and other public and private transportation. Passports and car keys should be removed as well as access to computers....Although mercy killings is shunned in these cases, confinment to a padded room is STRONGLY urged.(Contact CDC for further warnings, symptoms, and cautions for the general public)

Anonymous said...

I posted this somewhere a year or so ago ... either here, at Denny's, or at Sondra's -- still fits:

JIMMAH CAHTUH: A Study in Spineless Indecision and Ignorance in Positions of Prominence.

Because of gross oversight and clerical error, he was admitted to the US Naval Academy despite its policy against enrolling feeble-minded jerkoffs. Through continuing administrative malfeasance, he took a BS degree and commenced his personal crusade to transform the United States into a weak, socialist, third-rate paper tiger.

He followed up his BS degree with work in nuclear physics and engineering, which prepared him marvelously for dealing with lying, posturing, double-dealing, US-hating, Middle Eastern terrorists. His first book, Why Not The Best? looks into the reasons he failed so miserably and consistently as president. He pushed legislation which would protect various animals already doomed by nature and cause thousands of people their jobs. He promoted quotas for minorities in governmental jobs and college admissions, and sacrificed American prestige and hostages for a shot at the Nobel Peace Prize. He was key in abandoning the country’s claim on the Panama Canal, and spent most of his energies meddling in the internal affairs of other nations by criticizing their human rights policies. A poor farm boy from rural Georgia, he rose to the pinnacle of Worst President in the 20th century, all by himself, and is damned proud of it.

Had he not been born in a rural area of America, he would have been a perennial favorite for Monty Python’s “Upper-Class Twit of the Year” award. His mother apparently was not present at his birth, and he has gone through his adult life as an antique, expired consciousness completely unworthy of resuscitation. My secret suspicion is that he is some sort of Neanderthal cross with a jackass.

Jimmy Carter actually believes that Bill Clinton was a great president who never should have been impeached. In fact, Carter remains convinced that Clinton never lied, since his understanding of oral sex is just talking dirty. This assessment of a serious issue parallels his understanding of terrorism, where he believes our position in Iraq is 4th and 20 in the 9th with two in the penalty box and minus two points for hitting low. It’s entirely possible that the bones in his head never stopped calcifying when the rest of his body reached adulthood.

JEC is an animated wad of intellectually anemic protoplasm with a credibility factor lower than Jacques Francois Querrie’s and negotiating skills poorer than those of Larry, Shemp, and Moe. He is a walking advertisement for birth control, as his mother summed up very nicely:

“Sometimes when I look at all my children, I say to myself, ‘Lillian, you should have stayed a virgin.’"
Lillian Carter

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