Hymn, Hymn, Hymen

Today's Christmas Hymen

Artificial Virginity

I don't see a market for this product in the U.S., outside of Mormon and Muslim communities.  My sense is that nobody else cares, and I'm not saying that's a good thing, but rather the fallout from handing the culture over to Hollywood.  At any rate, this caught my eye. “ Main causes of hymen tore or break:     * Strenuous exercise (Gymnastics, sports, martial art, horse riding, etc)     * Premarital Sex     * Childhood accident (Hard object)     * Wearing a tampon for the first time ” What else is there?  I've thought on this all day, and all I could come up with is, * Vigorously attempting to blow a stopped up nose. I can think of snarky ways to give this gift.  Like dropping it in the present pile at your ex-girlfriend's wedding reception, with the note, "I thought you might like this back." Under $19, from Italy.