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"Some of these animal activists are just...crazy," she said. "They
think we're killing Bambi's mother. I love animals, but in Alaska,
Bambi's mother is dinner."
Then, saying she was proud of being labeled a "redneck," she regaled them with a string of one-liners defining the term:
"You're a redneck if you've ever had dinner on a ping pong table."
Laughs.
"You're a redneck if you've ever had a custody fight over a hunting
dog. Well, Todd and I haven't, but we've got friends who have!"
More laughs.
"You're a redneck if your honeymoon was a hunting trip. That was us!"
A whole lotta laughs.
Wait, there's more.
"You're a redneck if you've ever used a fishing license as ID.
"You're a redneck if you've ever slept in the back of a pickup rather than pay for a hotel.
"You're a redneck if you've ever said to your husband, 'Honey, move the transmission so I can take a bath.'
"And you're a redneck if you think the last words of 'The Star Spangled Banner' are 'PLAY BALL!'"
The audience laughed so hard my ears will never stop ringing.
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