Saturday, June 19, 2010

My Vagina, My Penis

From the April 1979 issue
of National Lampoon

Boned Jello
“ One morning last winter, um, I woke up and, well, I was asleep and then I woke up, and what I found was, um, well, I woke up, and there it was, and my…what should have been there wasn’t and what was there was…it was…a vagina. I mean, I was a sixteen-year-old guy with a box! I had a damn ugly, hairy woman’s privates and it was gross and sickening, and I was so pissed off I wanted to punch it right in the face! - Continued
”
Which of course was followed by:
Boned Jello
“ My Penis
 By Karen Wheatley as told to John Hughes
From the November 1978 issue of National Lampoon

One day last fall, I woke up with a…with this…with a…well, it was, it was all covered with hair and um, it was, oh, it was big and, ah, it was a…you know, it was a…what it was was a…it was like a, well…it was a penis. A real one. It scared me to death!- Continued
”
WELCOME MOONBAT GUESTS
I posted my response to Drew below.  I wanted to comment on his blog, but you have to be registered, and registrations are closed.  Sweet.  His post had one comment when I was there.  "OMG- I read this back in the 60's or 70's!"   Just so.  I like Drew, have him on my blog roll, and was thus a bit taken aback by his overwrought narrative (Transgender rape?  Egad!)  Thanks for stopping by.
6/19/2010 07:52:00 PM 8 Comments

"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
Argus Hamilton


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8 comments:

DougM said...

That have anything to do with this?

6/19/10, 8:35 PM
Anonymous said...

For the REALLY non PC, google 'foreigners around the world' by Mr O'Rourke. I still laugh when I read it.
Tim
WV persa

6/19/10, 8:55 PM
An ignorant dickweed said...

So that is where they got the idea for Hot Chick from.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0302640/

6/20/10, 9:04 AM
drew458 said...

WTF is this shit? Transgender daydream rape porn written by stupid teenagers from way back when? Did you actually read that shit?


"
"Is it O.K. with you, Larry?"
"No!" I screamed!

I was scared shit and I was struggling like crazy and normally I could have whipped those guys in about one and a half minutes, but I just didn’t have any muscles left. I have to admit this and it’s really gross and disgusting and horrible and a nightmare but … my friends all fucked me.

...

I never talked to those guys again and they never talked to me, either,

...

I guess the worst thing that happened was that I had to use up most of my money I was saving for new skis and waste my Easter vacation having to get an abortion."
"


So what you categorize as "fun" and "nostalgia" is the write-up of a gang rape?

The other story isn't much better, wherein our she-male forces herself on her girlfriend and just doesn't give a damn that she says no. Another rape. Two actually in that story. It's the same premise, just turned around. Is that more fun? Does that give you more nostalgia?

"I took my hand and grabbed Chuck by the hair on the back of his head. I pulled it just enough so that it hurt and Chuck was really scared because at that point I think I was stronger than he was and he couldn't move. "No," he said, "don't." I slowly forced his face down onto my lap. Then I used my thumb and fingers to squeeze just below Chuck's cheeks and force his jaws open. I pushed his open mouth down over my you-know-what.

It was over in about three minutes and it was super! "


Horry Clap Rodge, you've gone over the line this time. Sure, maybe I could see the eye-rolling mirth in the total stupidity of old-school porn writing. But that's a mighty tiny maybe. I've seen those "Two ponies for Sara" books around in years gone by. But what you link to here is criminally sick "entertainment".

I'd burn this post if I were you.

6/20/10, 5:31 PM
Rodger the Real King of France said...

Drew458 ... both articles were written by the late John Hughes (RIP), published in National Lampoon, and sold by newsstands over 30 years ago. I thought they were funny then, and still do. The payoff in My Penis, where an obviously chauvinistic (normal) young man has the tables turned on him by his obviously chauvinistic (normal) friends, is almost Shakespearian, wouldn't you say? I do suspect that the, then nascent, feminist movement felt exactly, back then, as you do today, but they annoyed the shit out of me so I didn't care what they thought. I still don't, but even more. You and I will just have to disagree on this one.

6/20/10, 6:47 PM
drew458 said...

I can see the humor, really, I can. And I think I understand your viewpoint. And maybe they were parodies in their day, though they read exactly like the cheap porn novels the boys would somehow have in their tree forts in the early 70s. So exactly that it's hard for me to accept that these are parodies.

But I know the age we live in, and certain things just aren't accepted as funny anymore. I don't want this to be a tarbaby that sticks to you (speaking of funny old stuff that isn't funny anymore!)

6/20/10, 10:11 PM
Rodger the Real King of France said...

"certain things just aren't accepted as funny anymore.

Not funny, or not tolerated? And, by whom? It was sure as hell deemed funny 30 years ago; why would it not be today? Here's the thing Drew, I'm not at all pleased with the PC movement, to put it mildly. While I don't go out of my way to annoy its subscribers, who are nothing but sanctimonious bullies, neither do I yield to them. Watching old Amos 'n Andy television videos isn't acceptable either. Holy Mackell, Andy! I don't care. I would bet $1000 that if we hashed this out over a few beers, you'd agree with me.

6/20/10, 10:51 PM
cheezburgrrr said...

So Drew458, when the story started making you feel uncomfortable, why didn't you just stop reading it?

6/21/10, 8:17 AM

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