Sunday, October 17, 2010

Coal Mine USA

If the Chilean Mine Had Been in Colorado
Here-to-with, a hypothetical chronology.
Coal Miner Joe
Day 1:  Press Secretary Robert Gibbs meets with the White House press corps.  When queried about the possible cause of the collapse he indicates that it is likely the result of the lax enforcement of mine safety rules by the previous administration. 

Day 19:  EPA Director Carol Browner reports that the construction of a road to the proposed bore location will require an Environmental Impact Statement.  She promises an expedited review, one that perhaps could be completed within 60 to 90 days.

Day 51:  At the urging of President Obama, the House passes bill that establishes the Mine Safety Regulatory Agency (MRSA).  The bill authorizes the expenditure of $10 billion on mine safety issues.  The actual expenditure on mine safety consists of a $50,000 grant to researchers at UCLA to study the effects of sunlight deprivation on the libido of South African diamond miners.  The balance is for grants that allow individual states to defer dealing with unfunded public employee retirement benefit obligations
Day 69:  The world watches as the first miner is lifted to the surface.  Vice President Biden is on hand.  As the first miner exits the rescue capsule, the Vice President welcomes him back to "Wyoming" and implores him to take off his sunglasses so that the world can see his smiling face.  Unfortunately, President Obama is not able to attend.  He needs to complete his round of golf early so he can see Michelle and friends off on their three-week trip to Spain.
Every day, a new body slam.(American Thinker)
Marc Miller

4 comments:

Snackeater said...

How long do you think it'll be before people figure out that the Chilean miners resorted to cannibilism in order to survive?

I mean, it may have been the Uruguayan soccer team's plane that crashed back in 1972, but it crashed in Chile. Coincidence? I think not.

JMcD said...

And of course, there would be the appointment of the "mine czar".

DougM said...

Mining permits would be be transfered to Brazilian, Chinese, and Venezuelan companies along with massive subsidies.

Since Federal funds were involved in the rescue, no prayers or "Thanks, God" stuff would be allowed.

Plans to build a mosque on the site would be approved.

Anonymous said...

Well Snackeater, why do you think they call it "chili"?

Casca

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