Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Anti-Shyster Software

HAL

Armies of Expensive Lawyers,
Replaced by Cheaper Software

  When five television studios became entangled in a Justice Department antitrust lawsuit against CBS, the cost was immense. As part of the obscure task of “discovery” — providing documents relevant to a lawsuit — the studios examined six million documents at a cost of more than $2.2 million, much of it to pay for a platoon of lawyers and paralegals who worked for months at high hourly rates.
I have for years represented (pro bono) the rights of American entrepreneurs against the the Tort Law machine.  And I'm not the only one who recognizes the incalculable damage that band of brigands have done to American business, and the national spirit.  So bad is their reputation that, like Liberals rebranding themselves Progressives, or ACORN to AHCA ( Affordable Housing Centers of America), the ATLA was forced to change their name to  American Association for Justice - or "AAJ (”Just Don’t Call Them the Suers). 

But I digress.
  But that was in 1978. Now, thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, “e-discovery” software can analyze documents in a fraction of the time for a fraction of the cost. In January, for example, Blackstone Discovery of Palo Alto, Calif., helped analyze 1.5 million documents for less than $100,000.

Verily, many victims of what I choose to call "Television Shysters" choose to settle rather than incur the enormous expense of defending.  Software like this may induce more of them to fight the menace.  But wait, there's even more.

HAL
Some programs go beyond just finding documents with relevant terms at computer speeds. They can extract relevant concepts — as lawyer John Edwardian discovered.  His computer (H.A.L) evidently recognized the true nature of Mr. Edwardian's lawsuits, and took umbrage with his greed.  Interacting with the Giant Food pharmacy computer where the lawyer had his prescriptions filled, HAL arranged to substitute Edwardian's next Thorazine prescription with cyanide.  The cause of death was only discovered after the family arranged for a private autopsy. 

What?  You think I made that up?  See for yourself.


Aside: Lest there be confusion, I recognize that many lawyers are honest, decent, and hard working citizens of high repute.  Among them, lawyers in my family, my lawyers, my friends who are lawyers, and the Barn Army's Advocate Corporal, Chuck Martel.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Advocate Corporal, an appropriate rank for the unit legal type.

Casca

Gayle Miller said...

Bottom line - there are lawyers and then there are shysters! Trust me when I tell you there is a vast differential between the two. I know for sure. I work for one category and I won't tell you which one!

pdwalker said...

I, for one, welcome our Ambulance Chasing, Electronic, Legal Overlords.

(and you know what they say; it's 99% of the lawyers that give the 1% a bad name)

toadold said...

Well let's see I can spend 10,000 dollars and the little nuisance suit will go away or I can give Little Ep 1,000 bucks and a case of beer and the shyster won't bother anybody ever again. Things like that will happen if the economy takes a big enough dump. If you mess with the wrong place in some parts the local Triad will talk with you.

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