Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: Golf Joke

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Golf Joke

“

Two golfers met at the club. "I heard about your terrible tragedy last week," said one.
"Yes," said the other sadly, sipping his drink. "I was playing a two-some with Winthrop, and he dropped dead on the ninth hole."
"I understand you carried him all the way back to the clubhouse too," the first man said sympathetically. "That must have been very difficult, considering Winthrop weighed over two hundred and fifty pounds."
"The carrying wasn't that hard. It was putting him down at every stroke, then picking him up again that wore me out."

”

Rodger the Real King of France 10/12/2011 01:23:00 PM 5 Comments

"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
Argus Hamilton

5 comments:

Juice said...: Thanks, just shared this on a golfaholic friend's fb page. LOL!; 10/12/11, 2:56 PM
Anonymous said...: Four golfers were on the 12th tee when a funeral procession eased by on the nearby road. Fred turned to face the procession and doffed his hat. The other three, feeling a little ashamed, doffed theirs as well. After the procession passed and they turned to resume play, one commented "Fred, that was really very decent of you. I'm touched."
"Least I could do for my wife," he said, addressing the ball.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick; 10/12/11, 4:29 PM
rwnutjob said...: Guy just once agreed to play golf with his wife. they got to the fifth hole & he hit behind a barn just off the course. He was about to pick up & said: "You know honey, I think I could just take a 7-iron & punch it through the barn doors & avoid taking a stroke." He hauled off, hit the ball, missed the door & the ball came back, hitting his wife in the temple & killing her.

He was devastated, but six months later, his boss thought it would be better if he could work through the pain & just play a good round of golf on the same course.

They came to the 5th hole & sure enough, the boss hit behind the same barn. He was about to pick up when he said: "You know, I think I could take a 7-iron & punch it through the barn doors and not take a stroke" The guy said to the boss: "I wouldn't do that if I were you." "Why" the boss asked. "I had the same shot six months ago."
The boss said "What happened"
Guy said "Had to take a double bogey."

rim shot.
I'll be here all week
Try the veal
remember to tip the waitresses.; 10/12/11, 4:47 PM
Anonymous said...: That reminds me of the farmer with the mule who kicked his nagging wife in the head killing her.

At the wake, the minister noticed that when women offered sympathy to the farmer, he would nod his head. When men came up to him, he would shake his head.

After the funeral, the minister approached the farmer and asked, "Why was it you nodded your head to all the women and shook your head to all the men?"

The farmer replied, "The women all said how nice she looked, and her dress was so pretty, so I agreed. The men all wanted to know if the mule was for sale."; 10/12/11, 5:18 PM
Anonymous said...: An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman went for a round of golf and their wives went along as caddies. Whilst walking around the course the Englishman's wife caught her foot in a rabbit hole, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground with her skirt over her head, revealing that she wasn't wearing any knickers! The Englishman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her state of undress. "Well darling, " she explained "you give me so little allowance that I have to make the odd sacrifice, usually no one notices." With that the Englishman thrust his hand into his pocket and said, "Here's a tenner, go to Mark's and Spencer's and get some knickers.

Two holes further on the Irishman's wife caught her foot on a mole hill, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground with her skirt over her head, revealing that she wasn't wearing any knickers either! The Irishman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her lack of nether garments. "Well darling," she explained "you give me so little allowance that I have to make the odd sacrifice, usually no one notices."

With that the Irishman thrust his hand into his pocket and said, "Here's a fiver go to Woolworth's and get some knickers."

Three holes further on the Scotsman's wife caught her foot on an exposed root, tripped up, and landed in a heap on the ground with her skirt over her head, revealing that she too wasn't wearing any knickers! The Scotsman stormed over and angrily demanded a reason for her inadequacy in the modesty department. "Well darling," she explained, "you give me so little allowance that I have to make the odd sacrifice, usually no one notices."

With that the Scotsman thrust his hand into his pocket and said "Here's a comb, at least you can tidy yourself up a bit!"

Tim; 10/12/11, 6:51 PM

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Golf Joke

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