More truth than fiction. No doubt about it.

A Mudgeon from Texas
 

You doosh.

Why am I laughing? How am I going to get that piece of my humanity back?
 

Oh, I was not expecting that.
My reference went straight to George Costanza Hand Model (episode). The originals are always the best. ;)
 

Probably NSFW and definitely not safe for a Sunday morning with kids in the room.
 

Offhand,
I'd say that using a guy's hand, here, makes it gay prOn.
 

I'm sorry but that's just wrong.