Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: Bread 101

Sunday, March 03, 2013

Bread 101

THE STAFF OF LIFE
(The word "Turgid" reminds me of the Terps BB coach)

How humiliating. I was arrested and detained by the Barn Army MP for being AWOL. WTF? I immediately corrected things by giving myself a retroactive pass, but how will my granddaughter ever wash away the vision of me being frog-marched into a black mariah?

But, here's the good news. After trying 72 different bread recipes in my quest to find something not even I can screw-up, I think I have it. Here.

You're welcome. Oh, while I'm at it; have I said that SPOOKS if the best television action series ever made? You're Welcome

Rodger the Real King of France 3/03/2013 09:46:00 AM 12 Comments

"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
Argus Hamilton

12 comments:

leelu said...: Nice apron.; 3/3/13, 10:05 AM
DougM said...: Hey! My eyes are up here!; 3/3/13, 10:32 AM
Juice said...: omg that is a tranny.
So the picture goes with the very "unexpected" way to make bread?
I like the dutch oven thing, so we're trying this one. Thanks; 3/3/13, 11:10 AM
Anonymous said...: Spooks aka MI-5; 3/3/13, 11:50 AM
Anonymous said...: nice knaidels.
oy vey ole'; 3/3/13, 12:58 PM
Anonymous said...: Whew, my guess was rectal bleeding.

Casca; 3/3/13, 1:05 PM
Helly said...: Rodger, Rodger, Rodger. I think we all realize those aren't corrective lenses.

But this is serious. I know you are old enough to take care of yourself, but when I see you flirting with these tawdry high-hydration breads … well it makes me worry. Nothing good is going to come of this.

Now you show us a guy, who can't bear to touch bread dough. That's crazy pants behavior right there. But then he uses a bunched up paper towel to oil a sheet of baking parchment?!? Around and around and around. Ewwww. Why didn't the sirens and flashing lights go off in your bunker?

And what's this bit about baking in a picnic cooler? That paper-lined cast iron rig is so well insulated, he probably keeps his wine coolers chilled in it. Of course you have to take the top off to get anything to bake inside it. In Florida, this is a recipe for a $20 spike in the A/C bill.

You can't get good bread by stewing it in a pot. Don't even try. A proper loaf requires exposure to high temperatures, and air is the hottest thing in a bread oven. It is always best to bake with direct exposure to the oven surfaces. Or if you need uniform shapes for dainty finger sandwiches — in open aluminum pans.; 3/3/13, 2:02 PM
Merrily said...: I missed you. I worried about you. Sue me. <3; 3/3/13, 7:45 PM
Anonymous said...: ^Ditto

thoR~; 3/4/13, 1:59 AM
Rodger the Real King of France said...: Helly Helly Helly. What is this "stewing in a pot?"

3 cups flour and 1.5 cups water baked in a cauldron prehated to 450 derees does not constitute stewing. Preperation time is a times 56 seconds. Drop and give me 20 Helly.; 3/4/13, 8:20 AM
Helly said...: What is this "stewing in a pot?"

12oz water + 15oz flour = 80% hydration

I see your point: Not stew. If we added this much water to beef, carrots, and potatoes; we would have to call it soup. Sry

a cauldron prehated

Ditto.; 3/4/13, 9:00 PM
Rodger the Real King of France said...: Helly = A cup and a half of water is 10.6 ounces in this hemisphere. Srsly, a stsndar bread recipe does use 3 cuops of flour. How much water do you add to that?; 3/5/13, 9:29 AM

Sunday, March 03, 2013

Bread 101

12 comments:

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