Friday, November 29, 2013

Texting Mom

Text from daughter to mom:

· "Hello mom, I need your advice. I have some of my boyfriend's cum stuck in my hair. How do I get it out? Will I have to cut it out?"


  Text from mom to daughter:

· "It’s nice you can send me such a frank text. No, you won't have to cut it out. I've had loads of cum in my hair over the years and it will just wash out."


· Daughter back to mom:

· "Oh my God, mom.......... sorry, I meant to spell gum."
Ron Metzger



CRAP
11/29/2013 09:40:00 PM 4 Comments

"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
Argus Hamilton


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4 comments:

JMcD said...

Sorta reminds me of the Mom/Daughter story of the young girl who eloped and ran away to California.
Later, when things had settled down, and feeling remorseful about her mom's feelings, she decided to contact her.
Writing her mom a letter about the marriage and her great happiness, she decided to include a photo of her new hubby.
After searching around the apartment, she found a pic of "Bob" which she had playfully taken of him while he was in the nude.
"No problem", she thought. "I'll just cut it and send the top half to mom."
After a couple days went by, she realized that she had accidently sent the bottom half to her mother, who had recently begun to suffer from cataracts.
Sue anxiously awaited the dreaded answer which arrived a week and a half later.
"Well I'm real happy that you have made a good marriage and things are going well for you. Bob is a nice looking boy....but you should tell him NOT to part his hair in the middle, as it makes his nose look too long"
Love Mother

11/30/13, 10:16 AM
DougM said...

A careful MRI tech will make sure his patient doesn't have nipple studs.

11/30/13, 12:23 PM
Skoonj said...

An Irishman returned home with his bride. She looked very nervous, and he asked her what was wrong. "My dear, I have to tell you ... I was a prostitute." The Irishman flew into a rage, throwing things and ripping things, until he was exhausted.

"My dear, I didn't know you would take it so hard when I told you I was a prostitute."

"Prostitute?" the Irishman said. "Oh, I thought you said you were a Protestant!"

11/30/13, 6:22 PM
iri said...

If I knew how to do it I'd have put the left nipple down just a bit.

12/1/13, 7:13 PM

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