Clarkson in charge

not all brits are leftist fops who betray their country                                 Clarkson in Charge I joke often about how, if I were in power, I’d employ police marksmen to sit on motorway bridges picking off people who drive too slowly… I can think of many people who could and should be removed from the scene in such a way that no one can really explain what happened. George Monbiot. Ken Livingstone. Various hardline Muslim fanatics. Most human rights lawyers. Anyone with a rally jacket. People in Babyshambles. People with beards. Anyone with a sign on their desk that says “You don’t have to be mad to work here”, anyone in a jungle in Australia, anyone who claps along to the oompah music at the Horse of the Year Show, and everyone at the Ideal Home exhibition. And: There was one girl we called Butterface. This is because she was ravishingly beautiful in every single respect … but her face, which was that of an eroded gargoyle. Then there was a boy who, because he hadn’t started shaving at the age of 14, was referred to always in the third person as “she”. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this simply wouldn’t be allowed any more. Calling a boy “she” would be an infringement of his human rights and the school would undoubtedly be demoted to the Gola League. The headmaster might even be branded a paedophile and banned from the sports pitches. collected archive