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scream-of-consciousness; "If you're trying to change minds and influence people it's probably not a good idea to say that virtually all elected Democrats are liars, but what the hell."
Saturday, September 06, 2014
Cooper's Colors
"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. " |
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7 comments:
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In response to the Department of Homeland Security's recent announcements about threat alerts, John Cleese (or some other guy) had this to say:
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.
The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain:
"Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.
. - 9/6/14, 9:37 AM
- Rodger the Real King of France said...
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BEST EVER!
- 9/6/14, 10:46 AM
- DougM said...
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NRA-based courses use similar terms:
• Unaware
• Aware
• Alert
• Alarm
In aerial-combat terms (which I used to structure my armed self-defense classes), there's the "OODA Loop":
• Observe (Aware -> Alert)
• Orient (Alarm, get in position to fight or escape)
• Decide (here's where you need to know the law and the nature of the threat)
• Act (marksmanship or escape)
[expand that into a 10-12hr seminar] - 9/6/14, 11:11 AM
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We're always at Orange these days, Boss.
- 9/6/14, 11:51 AM
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FWIW, I just prefer to live in area where I am not confronted with the decision....to kill or be killed.
I don't even have a key to my house...don't need to lock my doors, or my pick-up.
mostly hard working good people live here - 9/6/14, 7:42 PM
- Juice said...
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Yes, Doug. What we learned in our NRA based CC class taught by an Army Ranger (Ret. Lt. Col.). "Know your target and what is beyond it" was key in our training, btw.
- 9/7/14, 4:26 PM
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Not a military person but respect for those who are. But my personal experience in high-stakes multinational pursuits is when an Aussie says, 'No worries' it means you go worry about those guys over there. These guys here, we got 'em for ya.
- 9/7/14, 9:20 PM