FRANK FELDMAN

a major award

FRANK FELDMAN The Legend     A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by.     He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank. "     Passenger: Who?     Cabbie: Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the   time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab . . . things    happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.      Passenger: There are always a few clouds over everybody.     Cabbie: Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete! He could have  won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy!     Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.     Cabbie: There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me.  I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman could do everything right.     Passenger: Wow, quite a guy!     Cabbie:  Frank never made a mistake, and he really knew how to trreat a woman and make her feel good. His clothing was always immaculate; shoes highly polished, too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.     Passenger: An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?     Cabbie: Well, I never actually met Frank.  He died and I married his  fuckin​g​ widow. (Tommy Bob Walsh)