Wednesday, September 07, 2016

This must be Detroit ....

What happens when you shut
conservatives out of your governing body? 

What will happen if the city of Detroit loses another 25 percent of their population?
The City Council will change the city's nickname from Motown to left town.

Now that the governor has  filed for chapter 9 bankruptcy for Detroit, he's working on a plan B.
Unfortunately the "B" stands for bake sale.

What's  the difference between a person from Detroit in a baby?
A  baby will stop whining after a while.

What's  the only thing that grows in Detroit?
The crime rate.

How do you know that the Detroit's finances are a complete mess?
al Qaeda is trying to find a way to take credit for it.

Why did the Detroiter think he saw a ghost on Halloween? 
He saw a kid dressed up as a pension plan.

What are McDonald's employees now asking customers in Detroit? 
"Can you afford fries with that?"

What is Trump's solution to Detroit's financial crisis?  
Waterboarding  the City Council.

How bad is the economy in Detroit? 
A Motor City casino was turned into an Indian reservation.

What do you call a couple hits from the crack pipe in Detroit?

How do you answer the door in Detroit?
With the shotgun.

What do you call an arsonist in Detroit?
An "urban renewal specialist."

What do you call a person with the job in Detroit?

What's the difference between the mayor of Detroit in a prostitute? 
The prostitute gives value for the money she takes.

How do people in Detroit vote? 
Early and often.

How do you castrate a person from Detroit?
Kick his sister in the mouth.

What's the difference between a person from Detroit in a car? 
One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

What do people from Detroit and a bottle of beer have in common?
They're both empty from the neck up.

How do you know you are in Detroit? 
You pull up to a red light and roll up your windows.

Did you hear about the power outage in the Detroit library? 
Thirty  people were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

What does the average student from Detroit get on his SAT? 

How do you promote  safe-sex in Detroit? 
Place  signs on the animals that kick.

Why do Detroit retailers  sell so many button fly jeans in Detroit?
Because the sheep can hear the zippers a mile away.

What is the definition other Detroit virgin?
An ugly 12-year-old who can outrun her brothers.

What do tornadoes and people from Detroit have in common?
They both end up in trailer parks.

What happens when you shut conservatives out of your governing body? 

What's the first thing a Detroit girl does when she wakes up in the mornong?
She  walks home.

Why don't girls play hide-and-seek in Detroit?
No one would look for them.

What's the advantage of being married to a person from Detroit? 
You  can park in handicapped zones.

How do you know that Michael Jackson is not dead?
He's still registered to vote in Detroit.

Why is Detroit trying to keep their new stadium a secret from  the public?
They're afraid the Tigers will find out where it is and try to play there.


Helly said...

Ok, THAT was a crappy post. But I can help.

How can you tell if someone from Detroit has been using your computer?

Chris in NC said...

As the local former Detroiter here, let me add: How is the best way to see Detroit? In your rear view mirror...

I give Helly, how can you tell is someone from Detroit has been using your computer?

Anonymous said...

empty spot on the desk where it was yesterday...

Anonymous said...

The population leaving has gotten to the point that Detroit is loosing dead people too. People have been digging up mom and dad and grandpa and grandma and moving them to a cemetery closer to the new home.

Helly said...

He got it — it's gone.

Dang, I have to try harder.

Anonymous said...

Q. What's the difference between Detroit and a bucket of shit?A. The bucket.

Moo-lin-yan Nabo-li-don

Anonymous said...

Q.) What does a kid in Detroit get for Christmas?

A.) YOUR bike.

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