Thursday, November 03, 2016

Connie and Kim duToit

Okay, I'm an atheist. I'm just not a "rabid" one. In fact, I envy theists the comfort of their religion, and quite frankly, I'm not going to speak ill of how people manage to find spiritual comfort in this shitty world.

WHat people miss is the loneliness of atheism -- the fact that when you die, there's simple oblivion. There's no comforting thought of "being with your loved ones in heaven" or whatever -- in fact, there's no comfort whatsoever. 

Believe me: with Connie battling the last stages of terminal cancer, I WISH there was an afterlife so we could one day be together. But my (and her) intellect just can't accept religious belief, and many's the time we've cried together knowing that our time will end in... nothingness.

Allow me, then, to quote the thoughts of Arthur Balfour (a Christian):

"Imperishable monuments and immortal deeds, death itself and love stronger than death, will be as though they had never been. The energies of our system will decay, the glory of the sun will be dimmed, and the earth, tideless and inert, will no longer tolerate the race which has disturbed its solitude. Man will go down into the pit and all his thoughts will perish. The uneasy consciousness, which in this obscure corner has for a brief space broken the contented silence of the universe, will be at rest."

THAT thought is what atheists deal with, every single day.

Last week  I posted "The Atheist Delusion."  A few days ago I scrolled down to look at late comments, and found this measured response from Kim. Jolted me to the core. I lost Kim's email addy in my last crash, or I'd be doing this in person. "Connie battling the last stages of terminal cancer."  I wish there was something I could do. Connie's blog was every bit as compelling as Kim's, and together they were a treasure. Srsly.   I will pray for her, as I hope you'll also do in your own way. This fight ain't over yet.


Jon said...

To those who don't believe there will never be enough evidence. To those who do believe the evidence is everywhere. I believe tho like Flannery O'Connor I think it's harder to believe then not to.

OC said...

I will pray for both Kim and Connie.
I will pray that they be pleasantly surprised on the "other side".

Anonymous said...

What OC said. Kim & Connie are really good people; I've missed their presence in blogdom and hope our God somehow touches them and helps them through their hard time.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick

The Old Man said...

OC speaks the truth. Read Kim/Connie until they stopped the blogs. If any energy I can exert will make either of them healthier or less stressed I offer it willingly.

The Old Man

Chris in NC said...

well f**k. Kim, I have always admired you and Connie. I am so sorry. Thoughts and prayers for you my friends.

rickn8or said...

T'was a sad day for me when Kim quit blogging. Hearing the news about Connie is even worse; to find a soul mate and then face losing them is a load few of us can bear.

"THAT thought is what atheists deal with, every single day."

Indeed it is. And it doesn't get any easier with time.

toadold said...

David Den Beste passed away recently, after a long terminal disease caused him to stroke out. He was an atheist who said he had a religious faith in atheism.
He reasoning was it was impossible to prove God existed but it was also impossible to prove he didn't. He put his faith in the absence of God.

Anonymous said...

I am saddened by the news of Kim and Connie's suffering.

Anonymous said...

My "Nation of Riflemen" t-shirts is one of my most cherished possessions. It was a sad day when Kim pulled the plug on his blog; It will be sadder still if news of Connie's passing comes this way.

Sir H the Comet

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to hear this Kim. I've only found comfort in the Taoist view. Not knowing, not meant to know, so I'll just accept what ever comes and try not to worry too much along the way.

I used to post on Kim's blog under the name Jarhed. One Friday I slandered the Air Force just for fun and Kim left it up as the banner all weekend. I still consider it a kind of knighthood. -Anymouse

Merrily said...

Kim, I've been gone from here awhile, and the news is jarring and sad to me as well. I'm still going to pray for you and Connie. God is very near, and He's very real. Love from Oklahoma.

Anonymous said...

To Kim:

I'm so sorry you face continuing life without your other half. My husband, 18Echo, died 3/4/15. We too are/were atheists. The pain doesn't go away. You just learn to continue living because that's what they would have wanted you to do. While you live you are surrounded by those who love you and the community you have built. Know that my thoughts are with you. I/we missed your blog for too long.

18Echo's other half.

Darrell said...

Connie, Kim,
My thoughts (and prayers) are with you.

MAX Redline said...

Cancer sucks. Been there, done that. I hope that they can beat it. Humor helps, I think.

Esteve said...

Kim had a very short "blogs I read daily" list in his sidebar. One was this blog. Clicked on it one day and have read it every day since. I will pray for Connie.

Kim du Toit said...

Thankee all for your kind thoughts. In May Connie was given a few months to live. So far, she's beaten it by two months, and we begin the next round of chemo next week, but her cancer os aggressive and fast-matastizing, so we just don't know.

We all live along a finite timeline; hers just happens to be shorter than most.

Rodge, you can find me at kim - at - kimdutoitdotcom

Anonymous said...

Kim, I still miss your and Connie's blogs. I followed you around the web as you tried different approaches, then, you were just gone. I did see your occasional comment here... I also bought your four books, mostly as a tribute I suppose - then I actually read one, which forced me to devour the other three. Thank you!!

I will be praying for both of you - it's personal... May your time together be longer than you think and more peaceful then you can believe.


BlueyM said...

Sad news from Kim du Toit.

Ken said...

Terribly sad news. My thoughts are with Kim and Connie. They were always kind to me, back in the day.

Linda Fox said...

Connie will live on, however, in the hearts of all the people she touched in her life.
I'm one of them. Her post about why we continue to fight the enemy, even though we will certainly be defeated, and will likely die with the outcome unchanged, was a classic. The title was something like "Gideon's 300"
It would be a great memorial for her if the du Toit family would publish it again.

Navvet55 said...

Kim and Connie were always a must read back in the day. Connie's intellect, her love of all things Twain, her strong (and Kim's too, for that matter) love of the Constitution, have been missed. Too many, as of late, have been taken from us, and we are all the poorer for it.

For as long as you are able, keep fighting the good fight. We will be thinking of you (both) up here in the hinterlands.

Rod said...

I've been a guest at their house when we had the Nation of Riflemen shoot many years ago. I've become friends with quite a few other shooters because of them. Kim and Connie have had a lot of trouble in their lives and this is pretty much the capper. My prayers (non-denominational) go out to both of them and may there be as little pain as possible.

pdwalker said...

Ah Kim, I'm so sorry to hear this horrible news. Connie taught me many things about how to raise my little girls on her blog, and I miss both of your writings terribly so.

I do not know what lies beyond the veil, but I pray that the both of you are wrong and will find each other again. And if you are right, then I pray that her cancer will go into remission so that you may have all the time there is.

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