No Groaning Allowed

A crusty old Army Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

"Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?"

"Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature."

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, "It looks like you have seen a lot of action."

"Yes, ma'am, a lot of action."

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, "You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy yourself."

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, "You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?

"1955, ma'am."

"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955! She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to "relax" him.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, "Wow, you sure didn't forget much since 1955."

The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch, "I hope not; it's only 2130 now."

Football Season Approaches

Three young men, just arrived at LSU to start college, were relieving some stress with a nice sauna. Two of the young men were from Baton Rouge, LA. The third, Boudreaux, was from Thibodaux, deep in the Louisiana Bayou.  The two city boys were talking about their new smartphones. One had an iPhone X and the other a Samsung S9. Boudreaux, sitting there with his flip phone, was feeling low.  On the first days of school, Boudreaux didn't want these city boys thinking he was not hi tech so he gets up, let's his towel fall, and walks out naked to the bathroom.  A few minutes later Boudreaux walks in naked and has toilet paper stuck in his butt crack trailing behind. One of the other boys said: "Boudreaux, you have toilet paper stuck in your backside." Boudreaux says: "No sirree. I'm receiving a fax."  es

Angela Benz

A businessman in the first class cabin decided to chat up the drop dead, gorgeous flight attendant. Businessman: "What is your name?" Flight Attendant: "Angela Benz, sir" Businessman: "Lovely name ...any relation to Mercedes Benz?" Flight Attendant: "Yes sir, very close" Businessman: "How close?" Flight Attendant: "Same price". Tom Mann

THE WAC SAID "ewwww"

The department of defense was conducting an all service briefing and posed this question: "What would you do if you found a scorpion in your tent?" A sailor said, "I would step on it." A soldier said, "I would squash it with my boot." A marine said, "I would catch it, break off its stinger, and eat it." An airman said, "I would call room service and find out why there's a tent in my room." -- General Petty Officer 5th Class Skyhawker Doug

Shopping Joke

From Son Huck

I see this volcano ...

Obama Nominates  MuslimTo Be A Federal Judge. Another First The punishment for riding on the same bike as a boy

Like FDR appointing a Nisei  to the court in 1943,Wot? Just another stick in our eye.

Little Johnny

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.  “Why?” asks his father? “ The teacher asked - “How much is 2x3” - I said 6, replies Bobby.   “But that's correct!” says his dad.  Yeah, but then she asked me -“How much is 3x2?”   “What's the fucking difference?” asks the father.   “That is what I said!”