crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted
by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely
young idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the
Sergeant Major for conversation.
'Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?'
'Negative, ma'am. Just serious by nature.'
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, 'It looks like you have seen a lot of action.'
'Yes, ma'am, a lot of action.'
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, 'You
know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.'
The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, 'You know, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?
"Well, there you are. No wonder you're so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1955!"
She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to
'relax' him several times. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned
against his bare chest and said, 'Wow, you sure didn't forget much
The Sergeant Major said in his serious voice, after glancing at his watch, 'I hope not; It's only 2130 now.'
Particulars below.. If you figure out where submissions go (thesimpsons.com
has nothing), let us know. My character is a new schoolmate who
drives Lisa crazy because 1)she's attracted to him, 2)he's smarter than she
is, and 3) continually shoots down her bonehead Liberal viewpoints. I call
him Rodger Lepew.
Simpsons" is giving one lucky contest winner the chance to make others
yellow with envy by creating a character for the animated TV series.
The new Springfield resident will appear in an early 2010 episode featuring Chris Martin of Coldplay as guest star.
The contest, part of the Fox show's 20th-anniversary celebration, is
for those 18 and older. It opens Friday and runs until 11:59 p.m. EDT
Online submissions at thesimpsons.com should be "pithy and funny," said
executive producer Al Jean, who will help judge them along with series
creator Matt Groening.
The winner gets a trip to Los Angeles to work with producers and the
show's animation director. The top entry will be announced in
Entries are expected to describe the character's traits, including his
or her name or nickname; age; appearance; occupation and catch phrases
(think Homer Simpson and "D'oh!").
"It's gotta be a human being. We've narrowed it down that much," Jean said.
The proposed character should have a typical "Simpsons" overbite and be
yellow or another hue found in the Springfield universe, he said.
The contest is a tip of the hat to fans, Jean said.
Barney Frank, Predatory Lender
Almost two-thirds of all bad mortgages in our financial system were
bought by government agencies or required by government regulations.
No Irish Need Apply?
Leaders of the Maryland NAACP, worried that a Baltimore mayor's
criminal conviction could result in the appointment of a white or
Republican leader who may not fully represent the majority black and
Democratic city, are asking state lawmakers to strip the governor of
authority to permanently fill the office. . .
The Seduction Of Lindsey Graham
asked if he would vote for Graham now, Bonsignor stated emphatically,
"No," citing Lindsey's support for Sotomayor, his support for TARP
funds, and the final straw, his support for cap and trade.
Only 43% Would Vote For Obama Now
In what may be the ultimate job rating, 43 percent of voters say that
they would vote to re-elect President Obama if the 2012 election were
held today, down from 52 percent six months ago, from April 22-23, 2009.
Answering machine message all schools should have.
Old Spook, a favorte tippler at the O Club Lounge, speaks for one helluva lot of peeps at his "retirement."
Scanning headlines, pocket knives, RINO congressional betrayals (Graham
enviro, Snowe health, who's next?), Chicago comes to DC (Waxman enviro
credits screw red states reward blue ones, Capone would be proud), fed
govt turning into Leviathan, compliant press lying and covering,
incompetent narcissist collectivist as President...
World gone mad. Too damned tired to even fuss anymore.
Too barfy to sleep too tired to be barfing. Note for others: Ensure tastes like crap going down and coming up.
Thinking dark thoughts, veering into the really dark stuff (how it
might have been better had the plane hit DC and taken out Waxman,
Pelosi, and most of Congress). Going to confession about that one.
Can't top your day Deac. I know electric fences do kick. Don't ask --
lets just say it involved being in my 20's and Jack Daniels. Lots of it.
Be back when I finally get into a better place in my head. May be a while. Y'all take care of you and your'n. Bye. OldSpook
officials turned to a conservative icon and invoked an anti-tax pledge
Thursday to salvage the slumping campaign of a New York congressional
candidate competing with a more conservative third-party challenger,
part of an ongoing battle between the fiscally hawkish "tea party"
movement and the Republican establishment. [WaTimes]
This might better be described as "Conservative pulls ahead of RINO."
Which infighting threatens to give a GOP house seat to a
Democrat. To forestall that, erstwhile conservative, now
pragmatic political hustler Newt Gingrich intercedes, convincing
the RINO sign a "taxpayer protection" pledge to fortify her
conservative credentials after polls showed her losing ground to
Conservative Party candidate Doug Hoffman."
RINO Dede Scozzafava's declaration of convenience means nothing, and
demonstrates a lack of integrity to go with her liberal bent. I
hope New York Republicans go big for Hoffman, even if the split vote
results in a Dem pickup. Because the Republican Party needs to
be convinced that running RINOs is the road to perdition.
Or face extinction.
As for Gingrich, he signed onto the Global Warming charade. 'Nuff said.