Dear Eliot:
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 NEW YORK CITY Hon. Eliot Spitzer (J.D.,'84) 641 West 51st Street New York, NY 10019  The admissions committee has met and I am sorry to inform you that we were not able to admit you to the Harvard Club of New York City this year. We received a record applicant pool of 112 applications and we were unfortunately able to admit an entering class of only 111 members. We realize you may be disappointed with this decision. Our choices reflect the strength and size of our applicant pool, and they are not judgments on any applicant's potential as a rehabilitated, nondysfunctional member of society. You will also be pleased to learn that we offer a vast array of amenities to rejected applicants, including the use of the front awning during rainstorms (for no more than five minutes), the use of the urinals in the lobby bathroom provided you are appropriately dressed, and the opportunity to ask the doorman for directions. The admissions committee made each decision in the context of the other applications and therefore we cannot provide specific reasons why certain alumni were not offered admission, although in your case a few queries stood out: While your suggestion of providing members with innovative massage treatments was considered generally helpful, the committee found the idea of "lower abdominal therapy" to be rather lurid. Expanding our reciprocal privileges to include Scores and Larry Flynt's Hustler Club was likewise treated with scorn. Regarding the letter of recommendation from your colleague Ms. Kathleen Parker, the committee was duly impressed by her kind words and generous praise, but received the impression she was not quite familiar with you -- the bulk of her letter focused on your new cable show as well as a show she plans on hosting alone when the current one is cancelled. We know this explanation may not be consoling, but it is as much as can be practically given. The committee appreciated the time, care, and effort you put into your application. (We particularly valued your advice that we provide members with a plentiful supply of mid-calf length black socks.) We wish you well as you persue your redemption. Sincerely.  Nicole M. Parent President |
