Friday, February 04, 2011

A Social Worker

A Small House
Today's Idyll


A Small House


Fresh out of Columbia Univ. with a degree in Social Services, Margaret chose to persue a career in the American backwater. Her first case took her to a home in rural Tennessee. The tiniest house she had ever seen.  She knocked on the door.

"Anybody home?" she asked.

"Yep," came a kid's voice through the door.

"Is your father there?"  asked the social worker.

"Pa?  Nope, he left afore Ma came in," said the kid.

"Well, is your mother there?" persisted the social worker.

"Ma?  Nope, she left  just afore I got here," said the kid.

"But," protested the  social worker, "are you never together as a family?"
 
"Sure, but not here," said the kid through the door.  "This is the outhouse!"


Tim W

10 comments:

pdwalker said...

Great punchline. I didn't see it coming.

TimO said...

:-) I had relatives in WV that didn't get indoor plumbing until the late '70s...

Juice said...

Thumbs up on the chuckle meter there, Tim. And yes, neither did we see the punchline coming. :D

Anonymous said...

My Grandmothers house had no indoor plumbing until the 70's , and this was in southern Md. I used to enjoy the outhouse , unless the black snake was in there ! Grand ma had a thunder bucket in her upstairs bedroom , and she would get pissed if we kids used it and didn't take it outside to dump it ! I still have the chair with the hole in it for the porcelain bucket (I am looking for a replacement bucket) . My aunt , and uncle had a trailer , and the plumbing consisted of a 4" cast iron pipe that came out down the hill below the trailer ! Whenever one of us kids had to drop a deuce , we would flush the toilet , and race down the hill , and watch the turd fly out the pipe ! the pipe came out just above the garden ! WE ALWAYS HAD THE BEST TOMATOES ! NO $#!+ ! : ) smibsid

DougM said...

Cultural question:
I understand that a two-holer or three-holer were for different seat sizes, rather than for simultaneous use. Is that right?
I'd appreciate a quick answer. Granma's in there, now; and I have to go real bad. I don't wanna, you know, intrude ... again.

Anonymous said...

In 1969, I lived in an almost ghost town a few miles off the highway, population 4. We had a two seater that might have been from the old local school. No door, so the view was great. And if we offended any goats, f#@k them if they can't stand The View.

Laurence

Anonymous said...

Yes we did take simultaneous constitutionals ( us kids) , don't ask why , but we did . My Great uncle Wilmer (we called him Gray Butt) lived well into his 80's , and never once used the indoor plumbing ! He said that it was wrong to eat , and $#!+ under the same roof ! I inherited his old hammer gun that I killed my 1st squirrel with . He told me that he drove his model A ford to Cobb Island Md. , and traded a case of moonshine , and $25.00 for it ! No amount of $ in the world could buy it . In the 90's a huge storm blew the outhouse over , and ended a part of my family history . I have a pic of it when it blew over , I'll try to find it : ) SMIBSID

Melissa "Darla" In Texas said...

Oh my stars!
I just inherited my gramma's old chamber pot. I need to find a lid for the pot though.
You close the hinged top and it looks like an end table.

Anonymous said...

My grandparent's house had a two-seater about 30 yards from the house and a chamber pot. In terrible weather you had a choice between the run to the outhouse or the not-empty pot.

I got really good at holding it.

AWM

PS The house didn't get a bathroom until the late 80's after my grandparents died.

DougM said...

MsMelissa,
I have an old oak commode (not for, uhm, use).
When you raise the top, arms hinge up automatically, and you have a nice seat pooper.
I thought about making it into an ice bucket holder.

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