If they're ratbastards, piss on 'em

SPECIAL REPORT State of the Pissatorium

“ Ever since General George Patton pissed in the Rhine River to show his contempt for Nazi Germany, it has been the dream of people everywhere to, one day, piss on the grave of Ted Kennedy, Bill & Hillary Clinton, and other filthy Democrats.  Alas, as a scan of your hometown obituaries will attest,  those hopes are being dashed for millions of Americans.  Now there's hope. Curmudgeonly & Skeptical is pleased to announce the  ... He realized his dream. Will you? October 16, 2003 * We didn't have an ad agency yet.  Pretty crude, huh? ”

French Chefs Make Kerry Soup On October 16, 2003 Annoyed One, Liz*, and I convoked to  establish the National Pissatorium.  I asked pledges of support (payable to my Amazon Trust Account, since closed by the SEC) and collected $373,000 to kick things off.  Originally three vats were built to hold urine in trust for Ted Kennedy, and the Clintons; Bill and Hillary.  Those early days were something else, believe me. Specimina were sent to my office (basement).  They arrived  in jelly jars, canning jars, cruets, plastic prescription bottles (that leaked and often arrived empty), sandwich bags.  One came in a one gallon Jerry Lewis Kids donation jar that also held $31,72 in change.  My  kids helped me open and transfer the urine into temporary holding tanks (our refrigerator crisper drawers - boy was MoSup annoyed). That first week the ledger shows we received - Ted Kennedy Memorial Piss Bill Clinton Memorial Piss Hillary Memorial Piss Other * 4 gallons, 7 ounces. 1 gallon 15 ounces 9 gallons 2¾ Ounces About two tbsp In quick order we added vats for Jummy, Schumer and Kerry, all wildly successful.  In  2005 I sold  the National Pissatorium to  JENO'S Pizza, but the check bounced.  By now we had several hundred thousand gallons of urine stored in over 62 vats. Desperate to get them out of my yard, and comply with the court order, I struck a deal with Exxon to lease  refinery tanks they weren't using.  Hard to believe that in all this time the only "closer" has been Ted Kennedy (172,000 gallons).  Above,  our most recent transaction.  Strapped for cash,  we agreed to sell 3,000 gallons of John Kerry Memorial Piss  to a syndicate of French chefs.  They made a giant batch (picture above) of  Le sénateur Kerry Jonn urine Soupe aux truffes noires et poireaux  to celebrate the ban on wearing Islamic veils.  They love the war hero in France, and thought they were buying his urine, not from donors who want it dumped over him, Suckers! Don't worry, we have thousands of gallons left for Kerry's "big day.". Miss Pissatorium 2007