Sunday, March 20, 2011

Action Jackson

The Littlest Terp

Boned Jello

Since Jackson was born I've been, while not walking with the plague, feeling sufficiently bad to keep me away from my new grandson.  Today I gave myself clearance, and went over there.  His sister will prolly be the next Shirley Temple, and he's a pretty sure bet for Terp starting QB in 2029.  I know what you're saying, "Rodge, that's one fine looking boy, but mine is a tad better," but you'd be wrong.  I mean, come on, the kid's only 2 weeks old and already can pass a football 3-4 feet.  Okay, straight down, but still.

Ladies Beware

Crazy Dems want to impeach

After the barn's burned down ...

  A hard-core group of liberal House Democrats is questioning the constitutionality ..,  with one lawmaker raising the prospect of impeachment during a Democratic Caucus conference call on Saturday.
It's about time these ass-hats admitted to Obama's non-eligibility and lack of  ... what?  Oh.  Nevermind. 

European Court of Human Rights and a roll of TP

Gee, do ya think?

Sunday, March 20, 2011 5:36:36 PM · by Republicain · 1 replies
BBC ^ | 03/18/2011

Displaying crucifixes in schools in Italy does not breach the rights of non-Catholic families, the European Court of Human Rights has ruled

There once was a court in the Hague
Which validity was murky and vague
Confessed one drunk on that bench;
Nationality French
"As a lot we're worse than the plague"
(then he wiped off his chin with a grin)

A Platform To Live By

A Fine (40 year old) Platform
1. No taxation without tax shelters

2. All gummint social services
    should have a cash bar

3. Invasion of Mexico if they
    start acting silly down there.

Pants Down Republicans

This National Lampoon editors manifesto and founding document is everything today's Teaparty must strive for. Thanks so much to  the anonymous commenter who found it. It's timeless. I'm not kidding.

Mahometans slash, beat teacher

It's a Sharia Law Thing

Gary Smith is head of religious education at Central Foundation Girls' School in Bow, east London.  Four Mahometans launched a horrific attack on him with  a Stanley knife, an iron rod and a block of cement, slashing his face and  fracturing his skull ---  because they did not approve of him teaching religion to Muslim girls. [Four men slashed teacher's face]
Attacked for teaching religion to a Moslem girl
Still, 20% (the usual suspects no doubt) answer NO to  Is an anti-Sharia Law unconstitutional?

Background chant: Suck that tit; Bite that Nipple off -Suck that tit; Bite that Nipple off


I've posted a few of these lists because they do what they're supposed to do.  This site (you got to be kidding) has pictures for every remembrance, which really enhances the trip.  My guess is that even commie kids, who grew up under Stalin, would experience a similar warm nostalgia for pictures of the one room apartment their family of twelve lived in.  Things can never be as good than they were when you were a kid with everything in front of you.

1950s Nostalgia
  1. Boned JelloAll the girls had ugly gym uniforms? And wore tennis shoes not $200 Nike’s!
  2. It took three minutes for the TV to warm up?
  3. Nobody owned a purebred dog?
  4. When a quarter was a decent allowance?
  5. You’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny?
  6. Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces?
  7. You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time? And you didn’t pay for air? And, you got trading stamps to boot?
  8. Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box?
  9. It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents?
  10. They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed… and they did it!
  11. When a 57 Chevy was everyone’s dream car…to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady?
  12. No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?
  13. Lying on your back in the grass with your friends… and saying things like, ‘that cloud looks like a… ‘?
  14. Playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?
  15. Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger…
  16. And with all our progress, don’t you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the slower pace, and share it with the children of today.
  17. When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home?
  18. Basically we were in fear for our lives, but it wasn’t because of drive-by shootings, drugs, gangs, etc. Our parents and grandparents were a much bigger threat! But we survived because their love was greater than the threat.
  19. And our summers were filled with bike rides, Hula Hoops, and visits to the pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.

How Many Of These Do You Remember?
  1. Boned Jello
    Candy cigarettes…
  2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside…
  3. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles…
  4. Coffee shops with Table Side Jukeboxes…
  5. Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum…
  6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stopper..
  7. Telephone numbers with a word prefix… ( Yukon 2-601). Party lines…
  8. Peashooters…
  9. Hi-Fi’s & 45 RPM records…
  10. 78 RPM records…
  11. S&H Green Stamps…
  12. Mimeograph paper…
  13. The Fort Apache Play Set…

Remember when
  1. Boned JelloDecisions were made by going…‘Eeny-meeny-miney-moe’?
  2. Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, ‘Do Over!’?
  3. ‘Race issue’ meant arguing about who ran the fastest?
  4. Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening?
  5. It wasn’t odd to have two or three ‘Best Friends’…
  6. Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot?
  7. Saturday morning cartoons weren’t 30-minute commercials for action figures?
  8. ‘Oly-oly-oxen-free’ made perfect sense?
  9. Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles?
  10. The Worst Embarrassment was being picked last for a team?
  11. War was a card game?
  12. Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle?
  13. Taking drugs meant orange flavored chewable aspirin?
  14. Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?
If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived! 

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The Tourist-in-Chief

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