Saturday, April 30, 2011

Not So Stupid Pet Tricks - mebe

Stupid Pet Tricks



Bob had just arrived in Chicago on a two day business trip. Not familiar with the city, he chose a cab outside his hotel to take him to his business meeting.

Sensing a sucker, the taxi driver took him on an expensive, several mile trip to get a few blocks away, which he only discovered after he reached his destination and was told that he had been ripped off.

He was angry enough to walk back to his hotel. But that night, he plotted his revenge.

The next day, he saw the same driver in the third cab in the line of cabs outside the hotel.

Taxi Rider
So he instead went to the first cab.

"Where d'ya wanna go, Mac?", asked the driver.

"I don't have any money, but you can (perform a sex act on me), if you take me there for free."

"Get the HELL out of my cab, you (expletive) (expletive) (expletive)!," yelled the driver.

Then Bob went to the second cab and said the same thing, to the same response.

Then Bob went to the third cab, with the dishonest driver, and asked to be taken to the same destination he had been taken the previous day, knowing full well that he would be ripped off again.

Bob then enjoyed the expressions on the faces of the other two taxi drivers as they drove away.


Top Gear
The Best Show on Television
No, I really Mean it this time

Top Gear Season 2 Episode 9 - full episode
chose Season 2 Episode 9  to embed because it's the last one I watched.  It perfectly exemplifies what I find so wonderful about it.  Calling it a Brit version of MotorWeek would be, while accurate, deeply misleading.  TOP GEAR [Wiki profile]  is wonderful entertainment.  It does not matter a twit that season two was taped in 2002; the cars tested are principally British, French, German and Italian, with Ford getting some play. I would easily have accepted them as 2011 models, if it matters. If there is script for this show, it could have been written by Agent Bedhead; it's just that sassy and smart. Here's what recommends it  ...
  1. It's smart
  2. Vastly entertaining
  3. They speak understandable English
  4. There are currently 13 seasons (of 10 episodes each) in the can, so if you get hooked, as have I,  it's a big fat book.
  5. Yes, it's about cars, but the focus is on style and ride, not techie stuff. Tested vehicles are disparaged for being hairdresser's cars,  or plain boring.
  6. I've noted that the audience, which stands in the huge airplane hanger where the show is taped, seems to be split about evenly between blokes and birds.  IOW, women are likely to find it equally charming.
  7. Not once in the 9 episodes that I've so far watched,  was I offended, or pissed off  by anything.  I have been tickled to death constantly.
Try it. Be Happy.
PS - You'll soon find yourself saying "Jag-you-ar," and "Al-you-minium."

John Kerry: Special Wedding Envoy

The Special White House Envoy(s)

 "Call me if you ever need somebody to talk to" (per lip readers).  But wait ... there's another famous kiss-crasher! (Roll)

Border Scary

Today's Border Scare

Border Scare

This is prolly what the Ardennes forest looked like just before the Battle of the Bulge. Or, one (Pale) of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.


Pump Pal Sticky Notes

Pin the Blame on the Donkey
Not since the Turd Kennedy campaign have Americans been afforded a tool like Gas Price Sticky Notes (Pump Pals?).  Creator Doug Ross writes:

 Feel free to post suggestions for different versions. The idea is to use real news stories and data to highlight the radical, destructive and extra-Constitutional policies of the Obama administration.

Thanks Doug, you are today's All-American Hero!
Pump Pal Sticky Notes

So, what did the losers look like?


12 seconds earlier (roll)