Bada-Bing

British  humor: Absolutely politically incorrect. . It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloreds from running. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------- 2 Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London . Police think  it might be the start of Ram-a-dam. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------- Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------------- Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English. Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9. ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------- Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But, since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works great! ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ------- Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside. ============================== During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.  A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".  ============================== Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is being shown 5 times a week now.  ============================== I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low. ============================== I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"  ============================== An Emergency Call Center worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal.  It seems that a caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah." To which the call center employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line." Guy Ellis

BORIS!

BORIS HAS HIS OWN RINOS Johnson has refused to apologize, and the Conservative Party has now launched an inquiry into whether Johnson's comments violated its code of conduct, which states that Tory officials and elected representatives must "lead by example to encourage and foster respect and tolerance" and not "use their position to bully, abuse, victimise, harass or unlawfully discriminate against others." Britain's most senior police officer, Met Police Commissioner Cressida Dick, saidthat she had consulted hate-crime specialists and determined that Johnson's comments did not break the law: In an August 5 essay published by the Daily Telegraph, Johnson argued that he was opposed to Denmark's burka ban because the government should not be telling women what they may or may not wear in public. Johnson wrote: "What has happened, you may ask, to the Danish spirit of live and let live? If you tell me that the burka is oppressive, then I am with you. If you say that it is weird and bullying to expect women to cover their faces, then I totally agree — and I would add that I can find no scriptural authority for the practice in the Koran. I would go further and say that it is absolutely ridiculous that people should choose to go around looking like letter boxes.... "If a constituent came to my MP's surgery [one-on-one meetings between MPs and their constituents] with her face obscured, I should feel fully entitled... to ask her to remove it so that I could talk to her properly. If a female student turned up at school or at a university lecture looking like a bank robber, then ditto: those in authority should be allowed to converse openly with those that they are being asked to instruct." As I see it, Britain's last chance will be a Prime Minister Johnson

Boris ...!

Try not to smirk too much, Boris: Johnson poses for picture of himself signing his lengthy resignation letter as he accuses May of letting 'Brexit dream die'... and Jacob Rees-Mogg says he will make a 'brilliant' Prime Minister Boris Johnson accused Theresa May of 'suffocating' Brexit as he sensationally resigned as Foreign Secretary He declared war on the PM's Chequers's plan and said negotiators had 'white flags fluttering above them' But he came under fire after posing up for resignation photos which showed him signing the letter to the PM Lib Dem MP Layla Moran called him a 'poundshop Churchill impressionist' and accused him of 'running away' Tory backbencher Jacob Rees-Mogg backed Mr Johnson and said he would make a 'brilliant' Prime Minister  I love Boris Johnson (some reasons why, below).  He's the Prime Minister the Brits need right now ... a Maggie Thatcher with (more) balls, as it were.

Bloody Hell

London.  Mayor.  Muslim. Chaos. An epidemic of stabbings and acid attacks in London has gotten so bad that London mayor Sadiq Khan is announcing broad new "knife control" policies designed to keep these weapons of war out of the hands of Londoners looking to cause others harm. [I'm not kidding]

A nice Italian girl?

Brit Jokes about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. First we had Diana, Queen of Hearts. Now we'll have Meghan, Queen of Spades Prince Harry checks Meghan Markles family tree. Sure enough there's still seven living in it Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have something in common from the word go. Neither of them is sure who their father is. Prince Harry is to marry his mixed-race girlfriend Meghan Markle. I think that's terrible. All those centuries of selective breeding, only to go off and mate with someone of inferior genetic make-up. Still, I suppose it's her business if she wants to marry a ginger They asked Prince Philip and the Queen if they were upset at all that Harry is going to marry a black woman. They replied, "We don't give a fuck, we're not even related to the kid." ETC - Sikopedia.net Thanks to Stu From Sickipedia.net: First we had Diana, Queen of Hearts. Now we'll have Meghan, Queen of Spades Prince Harry checks Meghan Markles family tree. Sure enough there's still seven living in it Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have something in common from the word go. Neither of them is sure who their father is. It's not that bad, Harry bringing a black into the Royal Family. At least they won't have any ginger offspring. I only caught a little bit of the news earlier, but a big congrats to Ronald McDonald on getting engaged to some African girl. I hear Prince Harry is going to marry Angela Merkel. I think he's possibly selling himself a little short with his choice, but if it makes Brexit go a little smoother, why not? The Queen: "Philip, our Harry is getting married!" Philip: "What ho!" The Queen: "I think it's that Meghan one.” I'm absolutely disgusted hearing the news that Prince Harry is now engaged to Meghan Markle. Another black coming to this country to claim housing and benefits. And a number of them seem to be following a certain theme: Prince Harry has got engaged to Miss Markle.....!!!! I love those Agatha Christie stories, maybe she can solve The Great Paris tunnel mystery…. Bookmakers are already taking bets on the possible location of Harry and Meghan's honeymoon. So far we have.. Barbados 10/1 Venice 15/1 Seychelles 20/1 New York 25/1 Paris 1,000,000/1 Balmoral 50/1 Rome 100/1 Prince Harry to marry a mixed race woman!! The queen has already invited her sightseeing in Paris, apparently to look at some tunnels. Prince Harry to marry a nigger. You can almost hear the brake pipes being cut. The struggle for the Royal Family right now is whether to cut Harry’s brake lines or cut his tubes. Note: If  I'm Harry, I'm  all over her too.  And,  I'd have guessed Italian.

GROTESK!

Here's How British and American Spelling Parted Ways

Grand Designs

cinema à la carte

While I've sort of tired of the Property Bros, etc.,  MoSup still gobbles them up.  Saw this on NetFlix.  Watched it.  Then watched it again with her. So, yeah, we liked it.  A couple who've outgrown their traditional home take a chance on a decaying 1920s movie theater in south Yorkshire,  and turn it into a bold showcase. This aired in 1999.  Would love to see a follow up story. Any Limeys out there who can run by?

THE CROWN

cinema à la carte

THE CROWN The Crown traces the life of Queen Elizabeth II from her wedding in 1947 to the present day. It is expected to span 60 episodes over six seasons, with Claire Foy playing the Queen in the early part of her reign The review aggregator website Rotten Tomatoes reported a 91% approval rating based on 43 reviews, with an average rating of 8.7/10. The website's critical consensus reads, "Powerful performances and lavish cinematography make The Crown a top-notch production worthy of its grand subject."[25] On Metacritic, the film holds a score of 81 out of 100, based on 29 critics, indicating "universal acclaim". John Lithgow's role as Winston Churchill is, IMO, on a par with the late Philip Seymour Hoffman's performance as Truman Capote.  Perfect!  The biggest loser so far is a churlish Prince Phillip, although I suspect he will mellow out over time, and, deservedly so,the Duke of Windsor and Wallis Simpson for whom history has already spoken.

News From the Motherland

LIMEYS

1. Theresa May, Home Secretary and frontrunner to become the next Tory leader and PM (competing with Andrea Leadsom to lead the Conservative Party ) ...  said back in May that Britons "benefit a great deal" from Sharia teachings. [Full] 2. Andrea Leadsom is cuter, and could not possibly be dumber than May. [Full]

British Empire

tick .. tick .. tick The programme is divided into three different parts, starting at the height of the empire when Queen Victoria was proclaimed Empress of India to the handing back of Hong Kong in 1997. The rise and fall of the greatest empire is portrayed with all of its contradictions and shows how Britain today has become a multi-cultural society as a result.

Clarkson in charge

not all brits are leftist fops who betray their country                                 Clarkson in Charge I joke often about how, if I were in power, I’d employ police marksmen to sit on motorway bridges picking off people who drive too slowly… I can think of many people who could and should be removed from the scene in such a way that no one can really explain what happened. George Monbiot. Ken Livingstone. Various hardline Muslim fanatics. Most human rights lawyers. Anyone with a rally jacket. People in Babyshambles. People with beards. Anyone with a sign on their desk that says “You don’t have to be mad to work here”, anyone in a jungle in Australia, anyone who claps along to the oompah music at the Horse of the Year Show, and everyone at the Ideal Home exhibition. And: There was one girl we called Butterface. This is because she was ravishingly beautiful in every single respect … but her face, which was that of an eroded gargoyle. Then there was a boy who, because he hadn’t started shaving at the age of 14, was referred to always in the third person as “she”. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that this simply wouldn’t be allowed any more. Calling a boy “she” would be an infringement of his human rights and the school would undoubtedly be demoted to the Gola League. The headmaster might even be branded a paedophile and banned from the sports pitches. collected archive

When Boris Johnson Speaks ...

Wants windmills gone, replaced by fracking and nuclear power plants. “ Raja, The Herald Sun (which I think is an Australian paper) has a nice article about the mayor of London, Boris Johnson.  Mr. Johnson wants windmills gone, replaced by fracking and nuclear power plants.  He calls the windmills a “blight”  and a “disease”.  The mayor makes a lot of sense.  The only thing I would add is they could frack Yoko Ono, since she is full of gas.  Her kid sings a song, one line of which is “Don’t frack my mother.”  Well, Frack Her, I say.   Skoonj For those not familiar with Boris (my favorite living politician who is not a woman from Alaska), I selected the above video from the many "Best of Boris" videos available. Aside:  I know Johnson from his appearances on "Top Gear."  He is friend and neighbor to main presenter Jeremy Clarkson, and recently went to bat for "Jezza" after this  maelstrom. Jeremy Clarkson might have received more than 20,000 complaints when he joked public sector strikers should be "shot in front of their families," but the Top Gear presenter has received support from Boris Johnson. What a pip. ”

Has Obama's Ears

Oh My

Mann Act

Negotiate with who?

—   you berks.    What's the opposite of "Plucky Brits?" MI-5 (Spooks) slide deeper into Liberal dementia with each new episode.

Brass Balls

Scientists Succeed in Growing Balls on Liberal Democrats in Laboratory “ Liberal Democrats may in future be able to have their missing balls or backbones replaced with ones grown from cells taken from chickens or mice, experts have predicted. Scientists say hybrids of mouse or chicken stem cells – both of which are remarkably similar in structure to those extracted from Liberal Democrat cabinet ministers – raises the possibility of growing missing teeth, backbones and balls on junior coalition MPs’ bodies. Several pairs of fully functioning balls – created by combining stem cells taken from mice and Vince Cable well before he sold himself out for a seat in the cabinet – have been grown in a laboratory by researchers who hope the work could lead to Liberal Democrat MPs being able to grow back other things they lack – such as scruples or guts – and in the future it may even be possible to provide them with at least a primitive, working conscience scientists say. [full] The headline caused a bit of momentary confusion, wot.  "Liberal" and "Democrats" are become synonyms here. Plus, I think we'll agree that it's the GOP who need to grow some brass balls.  Then I noticed I'd been Trompe-l'œil'd—the story refers to the Brits.  Never mind. ”

Watching the BBC Live?

Wither Man Lab? “ I asked about this before, and the answer involved downloading and tweaking software that was beyond my attention span.  I've been watching James May's "Man Lab," on BBC/America, and I quite like it.  The best episode had May and Oz Clark, his  partner on  the excellent Big Wine Adventures,  escaping from Dartmoor prison,  but all have been worthy. I just discovered that this is the third series we're just getting here, so I tried connecting with the mother ship.  No Go. So here's me question. If I reinstall Windows, and when it comes to the part about What Country I select Great Britain, will that serve as a gateway to watching Brit television?  If not, how is it that they knowdo they know?  My ISP?  What if I'm a Brit attached to the Embassy, and want to watch home telly?   There has to be a way. Thanks. ”

Badger's Drift

Oh My

Episode "Her Badger's aDrift"

Boris Johnson

GREEN CRAP It’s snowing, and it really feels like the start of a mini ice age Something is up with our winter weather. Could it be the Sun is having a slow patch? “ Off hand I can't think of a (male) American  politician I like and admire more than London Mayor (liberal conservative) Boris Johnson.  I only know him via his appearances on Top Gear, where he spars with Jeremy Clarkson, who is, if we're honest, a friend and constituent) when Johnson was an MP). So, today, as his direct opposite  in scope of intellect, likability, and documented past,  Vows action on 'climate change, Boris takes pen in hand' to say something sensible.   "The Sun is god!” cried JMW Turner as he died, and plenty of other people have thought there was much in his analysis. The Aztecs agreed, and so did the pharaohs of Egypt. We are an arrogant lot these days, and we tend to underestimate the importance of our governor and creator. We forget that we were once just a clod of cooled-down solar dust; we forget that without the Sun there would have been no photosynthesis, no hydrocarbons — and that it was the great celestial orb that effectively called life into being on Earth. In so far as we are able to heat our homes or turn on our computers or drive to work it is thanks to the unlocking of energy from the Sun. As a species, we human beings have become so blind with conceit and self-love that we genuinely believe that the fate of the planet is in our hands — when the reality is that everything, or almost everything, depends on the behaviour and caprice of the gigantic thermonuclear fireball around which we revolve. I say all this because I am sitting here staring through the window at the flowerpot and the bashed-up barbecue, and I am starting to think this series of winters is not a coincidence. The snow on the flowerpot, since I have been staring, has got about an inch thicker. The barbecue is all but invisible. By my calculations, this is now the fifth year in a row that we have had an unusual amount of snow; and by unusual I mean snow of a kind that I don’t remember from my childhood: snow that comes one day, and then sticks around for a couple of days, followed by more. I remember snow that used to come and settle for just long enough for a single decent snowball fight before turning to slush; I don’t remember winters like this. Two days ago I was cycling through Trafalgar Square and saw icicles on the traffic lights; and though I am sure plenty of readers will say I am just unobservant, I don’t think I have seen that before. I am all for theories about climate change, and would not for a moment dispute the wisdom or good intentions of the vast majority of scientists. (Continued) ”

Twat's That?

Euro Trash 30 Britishisms used by Americans “ The Magazine's recent article about the Britishisation of American English prompted readers to respond with examples of their own - here are 30 British words and phrases that you've noticed being used in the US and Canada. (like these) Bloody, adj. and adv. An intensifier: absolute, downright, utter. Sometimes in a negative sense Cheeky, adj. Insolent or audacious in address; coolly impudent or presuming. Frock, n. A girl's or woman's dress. Knickers, n. An undergarment for women covering the lower trunk and sometimes the thighs and having separate legs or leg-holes Shag, v. To copulate with. "You guys missed the best one. 'Shag' Full List I can attest to this.  Because I've watched at least one "Top Gear" episode every day for well over a year (I'm on my 4th run through the series), I've taken to using words like Boot (car trunk), Bonnet (car hood), Pillock (stupid, annoying person); Lot (group, as in "that lot"), Twat ( widely used as a derogatory epithet), and many more.  There's another aspect to Britishisms, one that I've more or less, and quite  consciously adopted.  That is to assign the plural to groups, organizations and corporations.  For instance, we are used to saying "Ford is introducing a new car."  Brits say,  "Ford are introducing a new car" I think the Brits have it right, and it seems to roll off my tongue.  The problem comes when you're not consistent, which may cause the reader to think you're a  twat, as I'm sure you lot do me.  Well bugger off! Sigh. ”

Buncha Hairy Supporters

AHEM “ More My Batman  Casca seems intent on sending me his entire beefcake collection, not that there's anything wrong with having one.  Ahem.  ”