Thursday, November 01, 2012

Attention Nobel Peace Prize Judges



A Modest Proposal
 
Res Ipsa Loquitor

  Under a scheme organised by the local authorities in the town of Soderhamn and by Sweden's national employment office, anyone aged between 18 and 28 can volunteer to take a "Job Journey" to Oslo and attempt track down gainful employment.

Those who sign up get a ticket to the Norwegian capital and are put up in an Oslo youth hostel for a month, with Soderhamn council picking up the £20 a night bill. The package also includes on-the-spot guidance on how to get a job in Sweden's northern neighbour. [Full]

Bingo.  I believe I am about to earn my first Nobel Peace Prize.

During the War of Southern Rebellion, Mr. Lincoln wrestled with the what to do with the slaves he had just emancipated.  He seriously considered paying Negros to move to South America.  He didn't do this in a vacuum; Frederick Douglass was in on the discussions, and adamantly opposed the plan.  What finally did it in was probably  simple arithmetic; the nation could not afford  it (this before the discovery of unlimited money printing). 

A few other plans were considered, like moving them to British colonies, but Britain squashed that talk.  It's conjecture to talk about what would have happened had the slave problem been allowed to solve itself.   I for one think we would, in the end, be way ahead of the game, race relations wise, had that course been taken.  Or if  Democrats had somehow been taken out of the equation.

So tish and tosh, you say.  What has this to do with me winning a Nobel?, although the brightest of you have already figured it out.  It's this.

We find ourselves today as fractured a nation as we were in the 1860s.  That is to say, we are not united States. Once again it's democrats who are responsible. So, taking Sweden's example, and learning from post Rebellion politics, I will propose that after Obama is thrown out of office, we do a full kit.  We pay Democrats (liberals, illegal aliens, communists, et.al.) to leave the country and resettle in the middle east.  Actually, we lawfully mandate that they either take our offer of $100,000 per head, or spend the rest of their lives in a Mississippi penal colony.

My Lord, this song just started playing in my head. That's a good omen.




6 comments:

Jess said...

I wouldn't give them any money and would only give them 24 hours to leave. They've pissed off enough of our money and I have absolutely no compassion left.

Helly said...

So many questions.

1. Can you win Nobel Prizes for Peace and Cooking in the same year?

2. I missed the part about why we need to pay Dems for their deportation. They have graphs that prove America is the worst country in the world. So they should pay us for freeing them from capitalistic tyranny, awful healthcare, and inadequate free cheese.

3. Why Mississippi? It's hard to spell and kinda close to Florida, IYKWIM. There are plenty of worked mines in remote areas of the Rockies, where they could earn their keep my scavenging pitchblende. Plus it's chilly up there.

4. Can we get this done with an Executive Order?

SFAOV Sgsaur said...

Helly,

As a proud Mississippian, I say send'em on down here for the summer. We've got plenty of roads & bridges that could use a little TLC from commie chaingangs. The penal colonies could be situated in the swampy areas of our great state, where the skeeters are the size of Cessnas, and the gators don't discriminate against commies at dinnertime (commie donks are a little greasy & stringy, but they don't fight too hard and from what I hear, they go down easy). We could hire Joe Arpaio to set up the penal camps. Y'all can have them during the cold months.

Cheesy said...

Why can't young people find a job in Sweden? Is it because illegals have taken all the jobs traditionally held by them, like here?

Helly said...

Are you the real SFAOV Sgsaur — gaming legend? Dude, we are not worthy. Just let me fan myself for a moment.

Ok, it's true we all have fantasies about 'shovel ready' jobs for Dems, as in Cool Hand Luke. I'm just stuck on the idea of having them gather uranium as reparations for the damage they have inflicted upon America.

OTOH who would argue over the environmental benefits of losing a few of them to the gators. So you definitely get the PETA group.

You know what we really need? A Sherif Joe university, so every decent state could benefit from his expertise in Democrat Control Technology.

Kristophr said...

Cheesey: Sweden went full-retard socialist.

They actually have a punitive tax bracket ... if you make over a certain amount, you get a 108% income tax.

Anyone with any money just left, and the remaining industries there are mostly government owned.

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