While
I've decadently expense-account dined in some of the finest restaurants
in the country, ordering the likes of Beef Wellington on a sub role
(Italian bread), I'm not sure whether I've actually ever had a
dish
containing actual real truffles. I was given a bottle of truffle oil in
the 90's, and went nuts for it. The smell was intoxicating,
and like
everybody else who bought some I put it on everything. I also
dabbed
some behind my ears, under armpits and genitals glistened with
it.
Since nobody I served my truffled food had truffle experience, they
were (or acted) impressed when I told them about the special surprise
in store for them. I don't remember anyone actually commenting
about
how my stuff tasted with truffle oil—until MoSup suggested "enough with
the truffle oil; it's rancid."
Do you hear that sucking sound? That's the
white truffle oil market going down the drain.
 What brings all this up is this. I again
again watched the Top Gear episode
where Clarkson challenges May and Hammond to a cross-continent race (he
driving the Bugatti Veyron; they by plane) to deliver fresh
truffles
to a London eatery. I clicked on Amazon, and
they have nicely priced black and white truffle oils. I almost pulled
the switch; but didn't. I investigated.
It seems final death blow to truffle oil was administered when Chef
Gordon Ramsay called truffle oil the "one ingredient you should
NOT have in your pantry." Serious
Eats says "Comparing truffle oil to real truffles is like comparing
sniffing dirty underwear to having sex."
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"What
is that?" a "MasterChef" judge asked contestant as she doused her
otherwise winning entry with the stuff.
White truffle
oil, Tracy chirped, clearly quite pleased with her dish and her finish
and absolutely clueless as to what was unfolding.
"One of the most pungent, ridiculous ingredients ever known to chef,"
Ramsay said. "I can't believe you've just done that. I think you just
put your apron up in flames."
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It seems these oils have never met a truffle. They're made from
an organic compound called  2,4-Dithiapentane—derived
either naturally or from a petroleum base—mixed together with olive
oil.
But I like the fragrance, and in small quantities, the taste, but do
not want the stain on my honor that using this crap might bring.
However, further investigation
revealed what appears to be the
real deal.
"... a black truffle oil concentrate; a lot
of flavor a lot of aroma in a small quantity on superior olive oil.
Tuber Melanosporum Vitt. is the black truffle that is used to flavor
the olive oil.
Use
this condiment sparingly (a drop at a time) as it is highly aromatic
and potent in flavor."
I didn't buy it, but I fear that in a moment of weakness and self
indulgence I will. Then it'll go into the spice drawer with
the saffron and
vanilla beans that I've never use, because there has never been an
occasion important enough to waste them on. That's just sick. I
don't
deserve to be a chef. And what would Gordon Ramsey say (and yes I
love
Gordon Ramsey)?
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