Saturday, July 26, 2014

On the Floor Again, and other Fav OSU songs

The history of this publication goes back further than any of us will remember….Throughout the history of this book, it has been called many different things, ranging from Band Bible, Song Publication, and even The Unofficial OSUMB Handbook. The songs in this “item that does not exist” have been passed down from generation to generation during I-dots, bus trips, Beer Busts, and the occasional bored sober free time….Take it with you on trips and to parties….But never leave this out of your sight.

Trip Tic Multiple witnesses stated that a special newsletter named “Trip Tic” was produced by an anonymous member for away game trips. Two copies of the newsletter were distributed to each marching row. According to most witnesses, this publication included disparaging information about members and sexually explicit content, including sexual activities of members. Two witnesses stated that some issues included females and males listed by attractiveness ratings. One witness stated that an issue included a “Marry, Fuck, Kill” list.

Boner Question: List all the Members of Row in descending order from deepest box to largest penis. Explain your reasoning in 2 to 3 sentences.

Calculate in days, hours, minutes, and seconds (all separately) the
countdown to the M*ch*gan game.

If you were gay (or straight if you are already gay) who in the band would you be gay (or straight) with? Why?

Write a short story using the following words/phrases:
BOX, hammy situation, lettuce, navy hymn, virgin, brown noise, snookie, special place, Aahsome, syphilis, cumblood, bale of hay, flash mob, Elvis, “Give ‘em Hell!”, to be late…, Jerry Sandusky, twat, face

Please draw the female reproductive organs with arrows detailing what each part is used for. Be as clear as possible

Create and draw a sex position for fat people. Use detailed images
(including facial expressions), words (sound efects) descriptions, etc. There should be steps to the process, as if teaching someone your sex position.

As a result of this INVESTIGATION REPORT / Complaint against Jonathan Waters, Director of the OSU Marching Band - he was fired. 

In addition, the handbook offers a very representative selection of bawdy  drinking songs, like; My Grandfathers Cock (Tune My Grandfathers Clock), Ten Tons of Titty (Tune These Things Remind Me of You), Clitoris (Tune: Oscar Meyer Theme), and On the Floor Again (Tune: On the Road Again)

The Terps certainly have their work cut out for them, trying to live up to this high standard.  And we thought the UVA pep band was déclassé?



Ralph Gizzip said...

And now you know why the OSU Marching Band is TBDBITLL!

Chris in NC said...

As a fan of a B1G rival to osu, I will concur with Ralph Gizzip. Their band is freaking talented as hell. They do the most incredibly tough halftime shows and other bands, though very good in their own right, don't come close. This is the only area I will ever compliment the enemy on and it is richly deserved.

TimO said...

Never been any different there... My wife tried to get in back in the mid-70s and was directly told "you can sign up and come to class but you WILL be failed as we DO NOT allow women into the OSU marching band." She played sousaphone and instrument storage was in the basement but only the men were given keys to the elevator requiring carrying them up 4 flights of stairs to the practice room.

The hierarchy of the band were always dicks.

Anonymous said...

This might come as a surprise to some, but 20-somethings are highly sexualized. Add to that, these are the bandfags. What do you expect?

OSU '81

Anonymous said...

Never understood all the rah-rah bullshit. Then again, I was never much of a "joiner" anyway.

"College sports" is like "literary chess" -- a nonsensical combination.

UNT '14

Anonymous said...

Kim, this isn't sports. This is the band.


Anonymous said...

No sports, no band.


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