Friday, March 13, 2015



DougM said...

• Hey, 'em sammiches ain't gonna make themselves.

• Her ketchup fortune helps.

• There's the citizenship.

hilary in yoga pants said...

it's best if she doesn't speak english. then i don't have to listen to her.

Anonymous said...

Whoa, dude - check out her TOASTER!
--Jimmy don\'t play that

Jess said...

That reminds me of the joke where a man walks into a bar and finds on the wall:

Cheese sandwiches - $2.00
Handjobs - $10.00

Looking at the cute woman behind the counter, he asks: "Are you the one that gives the handjobs?"

She answers with a smile: "Yes, I am"

The man replies: "Well wash your hands and make me a cheese sandwich."

DougM said...

^ Lady leans over and whispers, "I'll do anything for $100."
Feller says, "Okay," drives her back to his place and says, "Paint my house."
(third-oldest joke I can remember)

Anonymous said...

That's why we have marriage. You can pay a woman to cook for you. You can pay a woman to clean for you. You can pay a woman to raise your children. You can pay a woman to do just about anything. Put if you pay her for nookie, they will put you in jai!

Anonymous said...

Why do brides wear white?
Because the dishwasher should match the refrigerator and stove.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
So they can stand closer to the sink.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
It doesn't matter what you say to her; you already know she doesn't fucking listen!

Moo-lin-yan Nabo-li-don

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