Tuesday, March 03, 2015

So this nun goes to lunch ..

An old nun living in a convent next to a  construction site noticed the worker's coarse language and decided to spend some time with them—to correct their ways.  She then decided to take her lunch and sit with them. Putting her sandwich in a brown bag, she walked to  the spot where the men were eating.  Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group  and asked:

"And do you men know Jesus Christ?"

They shook their heads and looked at each other, very confused.

 One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"

One of the steelworkers yelled down. "Why?"

The worker yelled back,

"Cause his mom's here with his lunch."

(MoSUP via Sister Angelica - EWTN)


Anonymous said...

A large building was being built next door to a convent. The workers were using a lot of profanity, like workers do. One day, after hearing enough, the Mother Superior went to the foremen of the crew and asked him to get his men to slow down the bad language. The foreman said he couldn't do that. "After all, Mother," he said, "these guys call a spade a spade." Mother Superior said, "They do not. They call it a fucking shovel!"


HMS Defiant said...

all you all is evil and gonna burn.

just sayin :)

Anonymous said...

A Catholic Priest and a Nun were out having a round of golf. The
priest stepped up to the tee and took a mighty swing. He missed the
ball entirely and said,
"****, I missed." Sister Marie told him to watch his language.
At the next swing he missed again, "****, I missed."
"Father, I am not going to play with you if you keep swearing."
The priest promises to do better.
At the next tee he misses again, usual reply, "****, I missed."
Sister Marie is really mad now and says, "Father, God is going to
strike you dead if you keep swearing like that."
At the next tee, the priest misses, swears, "****, I missed."
Out of the sky comes a gigantic bolt of lighting which strikes
Sister Marie dead in her tracks.
Then the skies open up and a big booming voice says, "****, I

Anonymous said...

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.
She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a
nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that
there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"
The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley." He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"
"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kent and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."

Anonymous said...

The Mother Superior is looking out of her window at the courtyard below, watching the hustle and bustle of the Sisters going to Mass. She’s thinking about how she’s grown old while the Sisters always seem to remain young. When suddenly, she sees Sister Faith, leaving Father Gregory’s office – in the nude. She rushes down the stairs and calls to Sister Faith, asking her to come up to her office.
Sister Faith enters, closes the door, and sits down.
Mother Superior: “Sister Faith, why are you undressed and why did you come out of Father Gregory’s office in such a state”?
Sister Faith: “Mother, for the last 3 months I have been seeing the father in order to be spiritually enhanced. Every time we meet, the father disrobes and says that he has the key to Heaven’s Gate between his legs and that it will unlock Heaven between mine. I grew tired of constantly changing my clothes so I’ve given up on being dressed”.
The mother becomes red-faced. Her neck veins become prominent and she starts shaking. She’s quickly becoming enraged. Sister Faith is confused and asks: “Mother, have I done something wrong”? Suddenly the old lady loses it and yells “That son-of-a-bitch, he told me it was Gabriel’s horn and I’ve blowing on it for 30 years”!

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