Monday, April 13, 2015

Thank you for calling, please press ...

TECHNO CHILLS                        

Calling (Insert Your Cable Company Here)!

I love Amy Schumer.  This is a clip from her "Inside Amy..." series that I now think of nearly every day when something Verizon FIOS invariably screws something up and makes me curse.  I know I can't call them because this is what happens, and it will make me shake and quiver if I do call.  So I don't anymore.  hate Verizon's guts.


Anonymous said...

Couldn't watch it all. Too close to reality.


David said...

When my Mom passed away a couple years ago, Dad told me that she had a small life insurance policy from when she worked for Valero Oil (formerly Roadrunner and Diamond Shamrock when Mom worked for them.) But he didn't have any paperwork.

So to humor him I got something to drink, settled down with the phone and called the only number I had - a corporate 800 number on the back or a stock prospectus. I almost fainted when on he second ring a human voice with a wonderful Texas accent answered the phone. 20 minutes later and talking to my third human in a row, all of them polite and helpful, I had the information I needed. The paperwork we had to sign was in the overnight mail, and I had a different number to call that would bypass the switchboard if I had any questions. I week later I got a phone confirmation that they had paid the life insurance and the account was active and available to us.

There are a few companies out there that still get it. Not nearly enough, but they are around.

Wabano said...

I dont have cable...I got worse, far worse...I got Bell Telephone...satellite...when I call, I get an Algeria...

Stu Tarlowe said...

Amy Schumer (I'd never heard of her before): Amusing? Yes; A comedic genius? Hardly.

Anyway, I'll share my secret of getting great (well, at least better) customer service via telephone: Use the Spanish line.

OK, you have to speak/understand enough Spanish to understand the prompts, and then when a live person answers, you say, "¡Bueno! Dispensame, por favor; el español no es mi propia lengua, pero estoy usando la linea español por que creo que la cola esta mas corta. ¿Puede que continuar conmigo en inglés?

You will be speaking to a person who a) usually speaks English as well as he/she speaks Spanish;
b) is more inclined to be friendly and helpful because Latinos respect gringos who exhibit even a little understanding of Spanish; he or she will also be amused and appreciate your resourcefulness in choosing the Spanish line because the wait is shorter;
c) (Most Important) is NOT in Mumbai, but is in a call center right in the U.S. of A.!

¡Buena suerte!

Anonymous said...

AT&T customer service. I effing hate those bastidges. You are required to be a liar to work in AT&T customer service, and I have it on reliable authority that if your parents were married, to each other, at the time of your conception, you are automatically disqualified for employment.

Sir H the Comet

Kim du Toit said...

Sorry, but I think Amy Schumer is dreadful. What's really bad is that her material is okay, but her delivery and timing are so bad, I had to stop watching her special after 10 minutes. Mostly, her appeal seems to be watching a somewhat-attractive young woman in a short skirt talk about sex. Her famous "roast" of Mike Tyson (at Charlie Sheen's actual roast) made me cringe.

As TV viewership grows and other outlets (Netflix, cable etc) all need more and more content, so mediocre talents like Schumer will continue to get fawning coverage as the Next Big Thing, and the crap:quality percentage ratio drops ever closer to 100% crap.

And Justified's series finale means that one of the few remaining quality shows has ended -- causing the Lamentations of Jeremiah in our household. Ditto Archer, which seems to be drawing to its close, too.

Bah. I think I'll take up suicide as a hobby.

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