Sunday, May 07, 2017

Oh Deer


drew458 said...

Here in Hunterdon County we have a huge overpopulation of deer. Despite the entire state of NJ's best efforts on all our streets and highways, roadkill alone is not enough to cull their numbers. So the state devised about 16 different hunting methods and seasons. You can hunt deer with a bow, a shotgun, a musket, a primitive rifle, a crossbow, and I think a slingshot that tosses Claymore mines. Anything except an actual deer rifle. You can hunt them by remote control if you're disabled. And the seasons run extra long, and generally anyone can take as many does as they can kill. We also have bred up our supply of black bears, who can only be hunted a little bit if you can shoot them between the hippie protesters they hide behind. So the bears are rather well fed on both fresh venison and everyone's garbage. The typical "150lb black bear" taken in NJ weighs a bit over 400lbs. Most of them live in suburbia too. It's a miracle that they've only eaten those two guys from India so far.

Right. So we know all about these high rise cockroaches called deer. I've seen does get up on their hind legs and fight better than Mike Tyson. Bitches go at it hardcore, even when pregnant, and I swear the ones around here give birth to 6 or 8 fawns at a time instead of the usual 1. I've seen the bucks attack anything and everything; they've gone after my cars twice. I didn't hit them, they hit me. Several times. And then ran over my car and ran away.

So it is no surprise that they also eat meat, or bones, or whatever when they feel like it. Probably kittens and puppies too. They eat the plastic siding off of houses. They eat lumber. They eat the worst and least appealing kind of plants - thistles and hollys and pricker bushes. They are creatures of mass destruction, as satanic as squirrels and 100 times larger. Ask anyone who lives here who has made the foolish newbie mistake of buying a fancy expensive young tree from a high-end nursery and not planting it behind a 12' tall armored and electrified fence. The deer here would hunt me if I turned my back on them for a heartbeat.

Rodger the Real King of France said...

Check the UPDATE

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