Stuff That Works
40 second cookies.

Here's an age old problem.  You buy, or make make cookies, and as you put them in the storage tin you eat them, so none ever get put in the storage tin at all, and you get fat,  and you feel terrible about yourself.  Are you with me?  Here's the solution. Buy cookie dough in a tube and make just one cookie.  I know, you're way ahead of me. The problems with this method are ... Heating the oven to make a single cookie is expensive. It takes about 20 minutes from thought to mouth. It takes too long to make a second one. Here at Schlong Kitchens, we are constantly looking for new ways to make your life better, and healthier.  Here's what to do. I use these microwave disks that come with lots of frozen foods today.  They have magical properties that make them hot as hell so that microwaved stuff gets crisp, like pizza crust for instance The cookie dough comes in a tube.  Just slice off about a ½'' piece, and plop it on the disk Nuke it for 40 seconds (cooking time might vary ... play with it). Let it cool for ... I put it in the freezer for a minute.  Tasty as hell, and crunchy too! Repeat as necessary. I know what you're saying.  ''Rodge, I buy cookie dough and eat it raw.  No prep time at all.''  Here's the problem with that.  Very fattening, and not what god intended.  My research¹ shows that by using my method you cut the fat and calorie  content of each cookie by 99%. But do what you want, lard-ass. ¹ Research method consists of weighing myself, eating a cookie, then immediately weighing myself again.  No weight change has ever been recorded.