Summary for people with attention span deficits.
Muslims in Sweden allow Swedish society to assimilate
A Swedish outfit named the Divine Salamis are ''devoted to the discussion of history, politics, literature and
philosophy. Our goal is to provide a classic "coffee house" atmosphere
in which respect for individuals is combined with the objective
analysis of ideas.'' And telling lots of crude penis jokes, one would assume.
What's of interest today are Muslim demands being made on Sweden. Here's the preface:
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Translated by a Scandinavian who must remain silent for fear of
legal charges--simply for translating what a Muslim may freely say!
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That's the European Union's application of ''hate speech'' laws. 'Nuff said. Now, to the list of demands.
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An open letter to all Swedish political parties that are participating in this years election.
Hello!
If we are to succeed in engaging Swedish muslims so that they will
participate in the election in September 2006, we should take note of
the following demands and wishes from the Muslim minority in Sweden.
A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and
a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the
table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink."
The naked lady says... ''can you help me hide the salami?''
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I have not seen clear signals from all parties as to whether
they'll accept such wishes. We want to see the most important demands
as a part of the political programs. Otherwise there is the risk that
the majority of the muslims will remain on their couches on election
day.
Muslims are fed up with broken election promises, and therefore
they wish concrete suggestions to show that we care. It won't hurt if
our elected representatives or new candidates would set aside an hour
to read our open letter that is sent to all established parties.
Kind regards
Mahmoud Aldebe
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 Just give me the good stuff Mahmoud, and skip the butter up.
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We require special laws protecting religious freedom
- So in reality all laws should be altered or adjusted ... hey, pay attention or we'll cut your head off
- It is also a matter of having the
right [Swedish ''penumbras formed by emanations”?] to take a
vacation on some of the two major religious holidays
- ... and to be allowed a few hours time off in the middle of the day on Friday to participate in the Friday prayers
Q. What's a SCHLERM?.
A. The wrinkled end of a Blooms salami.
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- We demand special legislation in this matter
that is the right to two days paid vacation in connection to the
celebration of these holidays
- The ability to live entirely according to Islamic family law if you wish to do so is very limited in Sweden.
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In Sweden there are more than 185 local Islamic assemblies, but only a very few mosques.
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The construction of mosques ought to be financed by interest free loans
as an alternative to voluntary contributions from abroad. The counties
should take the responsibility to either provide security for these
interest free loans or to lend money without interest for the
construction of mosques for its Muslim inhabitants.
- To integrate Islam into Swedish schools
- This includes elevating native language and religion [Islam] to the level of normal subject in the curriculum
- We demand that county politicions should deliberate this matter immediately. Or we'll cut your heads off
- Despite the fact that Islam has
existed for 32 years (LOL) as an organised religion in Sweden, the
construction of burial grounds has been constantly hampered. (Watch out for this trap Swedes. You'll never be able to build casinos over them.)
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Starting Imam education in Swedish universities and colleges is a demand from the nations Muslims
- blah blah blah
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The Swedish answer ought to be along the lines of ''sug min kuk .'' That's another salami joke.
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