Ladies Against Women

On the Road to Tidy Up America... and the American Planet

A ''Ladies Against Women'' manifesto. Repeal the Ladies' vote. It is suffering and not suffrage that keeps us up on our pedestals. And if God hadn't wanted us up on pedestals, He wouldn't have make us shorter than our husbands. Abolish the environment. It takes up too much space, and is almost impossible to keep clean. Free Ladies from wage slavery. The 60-odd cents we earn for every manly dollar is entirely too much. It is unladylike to accept money for work. Maintain illiteracy as a high school graduation requirement. An uninformed populace is an obedient populace, and a self-censoring one, too. After all, ignorance is a virtue: what you can't read, can't hurt you. Insist on universal free childcare. No one should be paid to do what a real Lady does in her home for free. Weed out uppity women through the establishment of HULA Committee: the House Committee on Un-Ladylike Activities. Procreation, not recreation. Where did so many gals get the idea that s_x is supposed to be f_n? It's time to close your eyes and do your duty! I am, uh, appalled.