Overheard in The ER............ |
Your Crazy Uncle |
scream-of-consciousness; "If you're trying to change minds and influence people it's probably not a good idea to say that virtually all elected Democrats are liars, but what the hell."
Overheard in The ER............ |
Your Crazy Uncle |
"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. " |
Woman walks into a South Carolina welfare office, trailed by 15 kids.
"WOW," the social worker exclaims, "are they ALL YOURS
"Yep, they are all mine," the flustered momma sighs, having heard that a thousand times before. She says, Sit down Leroy." All the children rush to find seats
"Well," says the social worker, "then you must be here to sign up. I'll need all your children's names
"This one's my oldest - he is Leroy
"OK, and who's next
"Well, this one he is Leroy, also
The social worker raises an eyebrow but continues. One by one, through the oldest four, all boys, all named Leroy. Then she is introduced to the eldest girl, named Leighroy
"All right," says the caseworker. "I'm seeing a pattern here. Are they ALL named Leroy
Their Momma replied, "Well, yes - it makes it easier. When it is time to get them out of bed and ready for school, I yell, 'Leroy!' An' when it's time for dinner, I just yell 'Leroy!' an' they all comes a runnin.' An' if I need to stop the kid who's running into the street I just yell 'Leroy' and all of them stop. It's the smartest idea I ever had namin' them all Leroy
The social worker thinks this over for a bit, then wrinkles her forehead and says tentatively, "But what if you just want ONE kid to come, and not the whole bunch
"I call them by their last name."
That's getting sent around! Boazo
Uncle left out another scam item, the "crazy check". If they can get a kid labled as "disabled" then they can get a SSI check on top of everything else. The easiest disability to qualify is, of course, a mental disorder.
Last Dec. the parents of a four year old in Hull, MA medicated her to death. Seems her condition wasn't serious enough to warrant a disability so they culled the slacker.
I'm not sure how this will be blamed on the evil Republicans, but it will, and they'll walk. They have to, it's Mass. and their name is Riley.
Hey Thanks, Professor!