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"Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an
Olympic athlete. But she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an
astronaut, but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go
into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy. Should she be telling people this
story? I mean she's basically saying she wants to be president because she can't
do anything else." --Jay Leno
"Well, the big story -- Hillary
Clinton will be running for president in 2008. You know why I think she's
running? I think she finally wants to see what it's like to sleep in the
president's bed." --Jay Leno
"Top Democrats have mixed
feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running for president. Apparently, some
Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate it." --Conan O'Brien
"In a fiery speech this weekend, Hillary Clinton wondered why
President Bush can't find the tallest man in Afghanistan. Probably for the same
reason she couldn't find the fattest intern under the desk." --Jay Leno
"Former President Bill Clinton said that if his wife,
Hillary, is elected president, he will do whatever she wants. You know Bill
Clinton -- when he makes a vow to Hillary, you can take that to the bank." --Jay
Leno
"Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the
same sign? Know what sign? 'For Sale." -Jay Leno
"A student from the University
of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, so he
probably doesn't need it, but still, that's not very much. Today, Hillary
Clinton said, 'Hey, at least I got some furniture and a Senate seat for mine. "
-Jay Leno
"Hillary Clinton said today that she wants legislation to allow
all ex-felons to vote. See, this way all the Clinton's former business partners
can vote for her in 2008." --Jay Leno
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Merrily
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