sumbitch

Schmidt Sting Pain Index

Owwy

Justin O. Schmidt set about rating the pain experienced by the sting of various Hymenopteran - or, as I call them, MF bees.  That's right I call them all bees.  Anyway, in the pursuit of his science, Schmidt allowed himself to be stung by somewhere around 78 of these creatures.  I'd say he deserves to have the scale named after him.  What practical use does it have?  Got me.  The pain scale is the number to the left.  Here's more from Wikipedia. 1.0 Sweat bee: Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm. 1.2 Fire ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet & reaching for the light switch. 1.8  Bullhorn acacia ant: A rare, piercing, elevated sort of pain. Someone has fired a staple into your cheek. 2.0  Bald-faced hornet: Rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door. 2.0 Yellowjacket: Hot and smoky, almost irreverent. Imagine WC Fields extinguishing a cigar on your tongue. 2.x  Honey bee and European hornet. 3.0 Red harvester ant: Bold and unrelenting. Somebody is using a drill to excavate your ingrown toenail. 3.0  Paper wasp: Caustic & burning. Distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of Hydrochloric acid on a paper cut. 4.0 Pepsis wasp: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair drier has been dropped into your bubble bath (if you get stung by one you might as well lie down and scream). 4.0+ Bullet ant: Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch nail in your heel. I've only been stung by a few of the more obvious of these culprits.  In my experience the worst sting, from a winged thing,  is the Black Fly's.  HFS!  Not only does it sting like a MF,  it  often becomes infected.  Getting shot by the goddamn Japs on Guadalcanal was no picnic either.