My turn for the Nobel

My Unified Theory of Al Gore and Other Preposterous Phenomena

"It's scientific ... not like Gore"

I am  more than qualified to present the "Schlong Unified Theory of Al Gore and Other Preposterous Phenomena, and I'll tell you why.  Since forever I have been the almost single Singularity singularity. A lone dissenter in the scientific community which postulated a Big-Bang beginning of the universe, with nothing before it!  Impossible.  My enemies proffered a D- grade in high school algebra as proof of my ineptitude.  To them I offer this profundity - solve for x where y= a banana!  Cambridge University's Neil Turok, among others,  took my dissent and ran with it.  (Right) By way of disclaimer, much of my background in cosmology came from comic books.  One postulated that our universe is little more than an atom in a dogs liver.  Now it appears this is true. (Right) I know what you're saying, "But Rodge, why should we care about this?" The reason is, that it's about to drive you insane.  Jimmy Carter and Yassir Arafat win a Nobel Peace Prize? Al Gore is now being presented as a shoo-in for this year's Nobel.  For what?  WTF!  It makes no sense.  And those are not even the most preposterous things in our recent lives,  Consider: Hillary Clinton is running for President Democrats control Congress President Bush is called stupid, while the two men he defeated for that office are considered smart, - grades, IQ and achievement notwithstanding! Michael Moore and Al Gore win awards for documentaries which amn't. Scrappleface loses Best Humor Blog to humorless leftwing dickweeds. Blah-Blah-Blah.  How can this happen?  Here's how ... (Right) There is but one explanation for all this.  There's a leak betwixt parallel universes, and these schmucks are bleeding into ours.  These leaky portals are fittingly called wormholes. Captured intel identifies the biggest wormhole as "Leaky Leahy Pass"

We must find and plug these wormholes, and stuff these interlopers back where they came from - a universe populated entirely by shit heads,and where they may actually make sense to other Shitheadians.

OR, and this is where I need your financial help ... I will create our own universe.  I mean a real one.  (Right) Since I'll be God, only people I like will live there, and eat endless supplies of  pizza and mashed potatoes.  Nobody will wear clothes and people will offer their virgin daugh .... .  I'm getting ahead of myself.  This can happen though.

For those interested in learning a bit more about this subject, here's a chunk (25 minutes) of the BBC series about "TIME" that concerns itself with the 11th  Dimension, and Alternative Universes.  Lots to think about, eh wot?  I have to clean the garage.

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