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| IRISH BIRTH CONTROL |
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Sunday, March 16, 2008
St Paddy
She
replied, 'Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and 4 singles, 10 in all!'
14 comments:
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Anonymous said...
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God bless the Irish, I had a wonderful time when I visited. But I gotta tell you, Dublin has, hands down, the ugliest public sculptures I've ever seen. Some of the best pubs, but the artists must have gone from the bars directly to their studios
MM -
3/16/08, 3:40 PM
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Anonymous said...
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This fellow from Ireland goes into a bar and orders three beers and proceeds to take a sip off of each one. One, two, three and start over. The bartender watches this go on for a while then asked the fellow whats up with the three beers? The fellow from Ireland says" Ah lad, you see before I left Ireland me and my brothers, I have two don't cha know, made an agreement that whenever we had a beer we would drink to the other two brothers". So every time he comes in...three beers, until one day he ordered only two. OMG everyone asked, Did something happen to one of your brothers? "O nooo lads, not to worry. You see me wife joined the church and I can't drink anymore. But that don't stop me brothers"
SHLong Ranger B Crane -
3/16/08, 6:27 PM
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Anonymous said...
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So I sez t' mee'self, I sez,
"Sure and if the I-rannian 'Me-Dinnerjacket's goats were Catholic, well now, we'd have ourselve a fine feast."
And I had mee'self another Por-r-ter at Cohan's Pub (That's pr'nounced CO-O-O-han! thank'ee!)
"That be the strappin' American lad, fresh to Donegal's sweet shore..sure it'tis himself, Sean Thornton, a fine fighter and son of Ireland. Would that the Queen and her Coldstream Guard hold a fine cohort of men such as these, these Americans, strong and free."
A blessed St. Paddy's to ya' one and all.
- Stephen Ripley-Martin of Galway
(Sven in Colorado) -
3/16/08, 9:10 PM
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Anonymous said...
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...and who would want to go to Innisfree...
...from Pittsburgh, Massachusetts...
...when I drink water, I drink water.And when I drink Whiskey, I drink whiskey.
...saddle me horse...heeeh.
SHLong Ranger B Crane -
3/16/08, 9:55 PM
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Anonymous said...
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I wandered o'er the nation, and staggered through the bars
I traveled o'er the roadways in rusty, junker cars
I searched the whole world over for the cure to ease my pain
And found the medication that swirls Œround my brain.
My liver is in shambles and my colon is a mess
The reason for the problem is a source that is your guess
Turpentine and thinners, and refined alcohol
I blew-out all my taste buds as I've tried to taste them all
Oh vodka's in the bottle and rum is in the flask,
I've got a shot of brandy, and tequila in my glass
Imported wines from off the vines will sometimes serve the task
But Whiskey-Bailey's-GuinnessŠ will knock me on my ass.
Take a pint of Guinness and watch the waterfall
Drink it halfway down and stopŠ you dare not drink it all
Take half a shot of whiskeyŠ make Jameson the call,
Then top the shot with Bailey'sŠ get ready for a ball.
Line those glasses up, me boys, it's time to face the fray,
If you ain't got the ³gonads²Š get up and walk away.
Drop that shot right in the beer, then quickly drink it down,
Last one empty on the bar will buy another round.
Oh vodka's in the bottle and rum is in the flask,
I've got a shot of brandy, and tequila in my glass
Imported wines from off the vines will sometimes serve the task
But Whiskey-Bailey's-GuinnessŠ will knock me on my ass.
I wandered o'er the nation, and staggered through the bars
I traveled o'er the roadways in rusty, junker cars
I searched the whole world over for the cure to ease my pain
And found the medication that swirls Œround my brain. -
3/16/08, 10:47 PM
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Anonymous said...
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"Kiss me I’m Irish
I am the Wild Rover
My eyes they are smiling
And I’m seldom sober
I like my whiskey
And I love to dance
So if you’re feeling as lucky as me
Take a chance…
And kiss me I’m Irish"
GrinfilledCelt -
3/17/08, 1:44 AM
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Anonymous said...
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Here's a nice sout stick to beat the lovely lady with...
RAK -
3/17/08, 2:37 AM
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Anonymous said...
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Happy St. Paddy's day Barry O'bama and "Uncle" Jeremiah...Pog Mo Thoin
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3/17/08, 5:55 AM
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Anonymous said...
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Recently came across a Celtic Rock group named Clatterbone...The only time I remember hearing that word was years ago when an oldtimer used to describe someone's incessant jabbering as being like a "clatterbone in a goose's ass"......I don't get the connection.????
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3/17/08, 8:22 AM
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Anonymous said...
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'On the road' picture...The Flying Wallendas on vacation?
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3/17/08, 9:07 AM
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Anonymous said...
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General Guinness
You've heard of General Wellington
Who won at Waterloo,
But there's a good old Irishman
I'll introduce to you
He comes from dear old Dublin
He's a man we all applaud
For he always finds a corkscrew
Far more hardy than a sword.
He's good old General Guinness
He's a soldier strong and stout
Found on every battlefront
He can't be done without
His noble name has worldwide fame
Preserved through hearty cheers
Hurrah for General Guinness
And the Dublin Boozileers!
This hale and hearty warrior
Is worshipped in the ranks,
For he does his task inside a cask
As well as in the tanks.
He's borne the brunt on every front,
North, South, East and West,
And he wears about ten thousand canteen
Medals on his chest.
He's good old General Guinness.
He's won the world's applause.
It was he who kept our spirits up
In the midst of all the wars.
Who was the first to flirt with
Mademoiselle from Armentiers?
Why good old General Guinness
Of the Dublin Boozileers.
All over bonny Scotland, too,
The General is seen.
They've given him the freedom
Of the town of Aberdeen.
From Inverness to Galloshiles,
They keep him warm at night
And they love to gather round him,
Auuuch! On every moonlit night.
He's good old General Guinness
He's as good as Scottish broth.
He's the one who turned the Firth of Forth
Into the Firth of Froth
All Scotsmen dance the highland fling
And shout when he appears
Hurrah for General Guinness
And the Dublin Boozileers! -
3/17/08, 9:53 AM
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Anonymous said...
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. Dear Boss, I write this note
To tell you of my plight
And at the time of writing
I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue,
My face a deathly gray
And I hope you understand
Why Paddy's not at work today.
2. While working on the fourteenth floor,
Some bricks I had to clear
And to throw them down from off
The top seemed quite a good idea
But the foreman wasn't very pleased,
He was an awful sod
He said I had to cart them down
The ladder in me hod.
3. Well clearing all those bricks by hand,
It seemed so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel
And secured the rope below
But in my haste to do the job,
I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks
Is heavier than me.
4. So when I had untied the rope,
The barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope
I started up instead
I took off like a rocket
And to my dismay I found
That half way up I met
The bloody barrel coming down.
5. Well the barrel broke my shoulder
As to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top
I banged the pulley with me head
I held on tight, though numb with shock
From this almighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half its load
Fourteen floors below.
6. Now when those building bricks fell
From the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel
So I started down once more
I held on tightly to the rope
As I flew to the ground
And I landed on those building bricks
That were all scattered 'round.
7. Now as I lay there on the deck
I thought I'd passed the worst
But when the barrel reached the top,
That's when the bottom burst
A shower of bricks came down on me,
And I didn't have a hope
And as I was losing conciousness,
I let go the bloody rope.
8. The barrel being heavier,
It started down once more
And landed right on top of me
As I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm,
And I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why
Paddy's not at work today. -
3/17/08, 10:01 AM
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Juice said...
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Great St. Paddy's Day stuff here, Rodger's People! Especially liked the Gaelic Storm, GrinfilledCelt. :)
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3/17/08, 12:41 PM
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Anonymous said...
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I'd like to leave a St. Paddy's day hello to my Grandfather Leslie and my GrandAunt Maggie. Irish to the core, and I like to think of them.
Also, and check out this set of names, one family: Granny Gertrude, Aunt Sister Mercedes, Uncles Owen, Lester, and Floyd.
RIP Floyd, France, 1919. -
3/17/08, 9:32 PM
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