Waiter!

Do you want Pommes Frites with that?

Waiter Rant Link Several years ago I read "Coffee, Tea, or Me,The Uninhibited Memoirs of Two Airline Stewardesses," that was hilarious. Waiter rant delivers something of the same experience.  There is but a single waiter (know as The Waiter), who toils at some fashionable New York restaurant.  While this blog is extremely popular, I just found it.  Bon appetite. “ “Hello and welcome,” I say to my new two top. “Would either of you care for a cocktail?” “I think we’ll just start off with some water,” the husband, a bald man in a open collared silk shirt, replies. “Maybe we’ll have wine with dinner.” “Very good sir,” I reply. “Might I interest you in a bottle of Pellegrino or Panna this evening?” “You don’t have Perrier do you?” “I’m afraid not,” I say. “But we do have good old Source Municipal.” “What’s Source Municipal?” the man’s wife asks. “The waiter’s being funny, Alice,” the man replies. “He’s talking about tap water.” “Oh that’s cute!’ the wife says. “Source Municipal! You make it sound like it comes from France.” “Thanks madam.” “Some tap water will be fine waiter,” the man says. “Very good, sir.” I get a busboy to deliver the water, tell the couple the specials, serve them, and hustle them out the door in under sixty minutes. I shouldn’t have been so eager to turn and burn, however. The couple that slides into the newly vacated seats are regulars – regular assholes that is.  The moment their asses hit the seats their heads start swiveling Exorcist like on their necks - looking for me. (cont) ”