Friday, April 25, 2008

The Funny Carter

Jummy Carter Perspective



Cartoonist Steve Greenberg tried to put Jummy's career in perspective, and he did a yeoman like job.  However, it's still needs more perspective, which I added.  And while we're at it. how bad was/is he?  Someone as bad as Jummy deserves to be memorialized with a list of bad analogies.  If we do a good enough job, the list will float around in the ether for all time. I'll start:
  1. Jimmy Carter was worse than a poop that feels like there was a piece of glass in it and makes your butt bleed.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

Birds still pick peanuts and corn outta Jimmah Cartuh.

Anonymous said...

He had none of the vices I admire, and all the virtues I abhore.

The man who brought us 18% home interest rates, 12% annual inflation, and 10% unemployment.

Casca

Rodger the Real King of France said...

I'm looking for bad analogies here ... come on guys ....
Here are some examples

Anonymous said...

Carter,
not unlike the little liver pills for which he wuz named, slithered through the intestines of the presidency causing great distress and agitation, but producing nothing but an inconsistent flow of flatulant, fatuous fecal matter.

-Sven in Colorado

Anonymous said...

In matters of bad foreign policy, Jimmah always showed dogged stick-to-it-tiveness, like a cur with his nose in a bitch's ass.

Juice said...

IMHO, there you go gentlemen, Sven and JMcD! :D

Anonymous said...

Jimmah has a smile like a horse on sugar,and the brain function of the other end on bad hay.

Anonymous said...

Jimmah: the president who stayed up all evening studying for his urine test, and keep his pants unzipped to count to eleven

ok - ten & one half - my bad

Iteki

Anonymous said...

Jimmy Carter: so bad, he makes the faces on Mount Rushmore weep.

rockville

Anonymous said...

His aptitude in the presidency was much like his skill as a lover. He lusted in his heart.

Casca

Anonymous said...

When Jimmah visits the camps of our enemies, he kisses ass with the gusto of a begger eating a truffle.

Anonymous said...

Revision of my first comment....I visualized birds picking peanuts and corn outta Jimmah Cartah, like a flock of woodpeckers typing War & Peace.

Anonymous said...

I think Bill Quick over at Daily Pundit said it best a few years ago:

"The single most destructive US administration of modern times belonged to Jimmy Carter who, in four short years, managed to create the islamofascist movement and hand it its first victory over the United States, destroy America's intelligence systems, gut our energy policy for envirowhacko pie in the sky, engender the notion that the UN has veto power over American defense actions, ruin the Democratic party as a legitimate and trustworthy voice in US foreign policy, and validate the pernicious idea that something called "international law" actually exists."
GrinfilledCelt

Gayle Miller said...

James Earl Carter, Jr., the best argument in favor of abortion ever to occupy the Oval Office.

SoylentGreen said...

Jimmy Carter's reputation has the tenacity of a wet, angry rabbit that is attacking your boat.

Anonymous said...

In defeat, Jimmy looked into Rosalynn's eyes, wet like the outside of the guard rails at Niagara Falls.

Anonymous said...

Jimmy Carter is worst than 1000 razor cuts on your penis then dipped in a vat of alcohol, set on fire and then you are made to do Rosie Odonald with said penis

Anonymous said...

The difference between Jimmuh Carter and a Carp...

One is a slimey, bottom dwelling scum sucker; the other is a fish.

Burgie

Anonymous said...

Later in life, upon reflection, he realized that his votes for Jimmy the peanut farmer, back in the '70s, were the result of his drug addled brain. Now, with a clear mind brought on by the poverty of government dependance that prevented the indulgence in recreational narcotics, he could only compair the memory of that choise to an eternity of toungue bathing Janet Reno.
Tim

Anonymous said...

Is that what you were looking for?
Tim

Anonymous said...

We all wondered for years why Jimmah was different from the rest of us...Why he doesn't have normal, normalcy?

Elvis "Alfalfa" Bodine said...

Dhimmi Cahtuh is to diplomacy as Janet Reno is to beauty.

Double Naught Eight

Anonymous said...

Jimmy Carter's accomplishments shine like the hull of a rusty tramp steamer in the moonlight, his words of wisdom fall on the ear like a tubercular cough during the quiet part of Claire de Lune, his efforts for World Peace make grown mean weep like a dog fart in a small room does, and his work for Habitat for Humanity is especially impressive when you realize he yells "Fuck" louder than anyone else when he hits his thumb with a hammer..
Lt. Col. Gen. tailgunner dick

Anonymous said...

Jimmy carter's genius shines like a wrestling mat shines after the kid with the huge pimples is body-slammed into it on a takedown.

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