Monday, July 07, 2008

Condensed

Today's Condensed Joke
For people who only need the punch line 

GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

OK..But this is my whole story......A Democrat walks into a bar with a frog on his head and the bartender says to him, "Hey buddy what's THIS?", and the frog says, "Well see,it all started out as a wart on my ass." (revised for the modern era)

Anonymous said...

I keep trying to edify and eddicate my grandkritters by passing along carefully timed and cleverly applied tidbits of culture. Impossible to do that without touching base with Bible stories from time to time. My two oldest (16 and 14 at the time) asked me during one of those sessions about what kid of god did I believe in – the omniscient, omnipresent old white-bearded one who sees all and guides all; the absent one who set it all in motion and then went on to other projects; the not-quite omnipotent one who can’t seem to quite defeat evil; the vague one, like The Force in Star Wars, imbued in everything but involved only in titanic struggles; or what.

The bottom line of my discussion was that Yahweh selected a tribe (the Habiru) as His Chosen a long, long time ago, and basically everything they’ve done since has pretty much pissed Him off. That got the attention of some friends of my wife (devout, old-school Catholics) who began paying attention to what the heretic (me) was saying about their god. I finished off by saying that if He had any sense, God would have packed up and found another solar system somewhere else to set up shop, ‘cause the naked apes He put in charge of this planet are a lost cause, floods and crucifixions notwithstanding.

Some of those ladies don’t come to the house any more, and a couple others go out of their way to avoid contact with me when they come to see my wife. My grandsons think I should be teaching Sunday School ‘cause I make more sense than their lay leaders do.

Anonymous said...

Make that "kind" of god, not "kid" of god.

Anonymous said...

God and Satan have a wager as to who will win more souls. It's a hands off type of bet. It's sort of like the Greek Gods up on Mt. Olympus rooting for their favorite warriors at the Battle of Troy.

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