Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Sheesh

Did we even once consider a
bullet in the  medulla oblongata ?

Painless, instantaneous, fat neutral and 50¢
We're so riddled with Liberal cancer, it's a wonder out guts don't just fall out. 
A death row inmate scheduled for execution says he's too fat to be put to death, claiming executioners would have trouble finding his veins and that his weight could diminish the effectiveness of one of the lethal injection drugs.

Lawyers for Richard Cooey argue in a federal lawsuit that Cooey—5-feet-7 and 267 pounds—had poor veins when he faced execution five years ago and the problem has been worsened by weight gain.

The lawsuit, filed Friday in federal court, also says prison officials have had difficulty drawing blood from Cooey for medical procedures.  Blah-blah-blah


Dancing with who took us to the dance is always a good idea.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, if he is averse to pain, which was very likely a prominent feature of the crime against others that got him the death penalty in the first place, how about feeding him about a gallon of 151 Purple? He could even have some nice nachos or maybe a pizza or two to go along with the stuff.

Or just a nice chocolate sundae with the contents of 3 or 4 dozen sleeping capsules sprinkled over it before the whipped cream and cherry are added? Or how about just taking him up to the roof while he's asleep and dropping his fat ass over the side into a waiting dump truck?

Rape and murder, huh? How 'bout getting about 20 javelinas, don't feed 'em for about 3 days, put 'em in a pen, smear his ass with honey, and shove him in there with 'em.

Anonymous said...

Surely they can find his jugular?


Pat R.

Anonymous said...

Just once, when a lawyer for one of these sub-human turds brings a judge one of these tissue paper thin arguments, I wish the judge would laugh out loud and say "Get out of my court you moron" and fine the lawyer for wasting the court's time.
At the time of the writing of the "cruel and unusual" clause, criminals were hanged for lesser crimes than this monster committed. No drop either.
Just sayin' - there is an alternative to the needle.
Lt. Col. Gen. Tailgunner dick

Anonymous said...

In 1901, a train robber named Black Jack Ketchum was hanged in New Mexico. While in jail, he had gained so much weight he hit the 300 pound mark. Hangman forgot to adjust for his weight and, when the trap door was sprung, he dropped and his head came off like a zit being popped by a pimply teen. What I'm getting at here is, why not replicate the feat?

Anonymous said...

"his head came off like a zit being popped by a pimply teen. What I'm getting at here is, why not replicate the feat?"

It'd make good Prime Time TV and people would pay to watch...with proceeds going to the victims' families.

Anonymous said...

Gas him with chloroform. Then slice his carotid open.

Easy and painless.

If they need an executioner, I'll do it.

curmudgeon said...

"...the problem has been worsened by weight gain."
I didn't think they ate that well in the slammer.

Anonymous said...

Stick him on a freakin' treadmill.

LGD said...

We know that prescription-strength Tylenol mixed with codeine works painlessly ...

Anonymous said...

Paint him with honey, dump a box of oatmeal on him and toss him in the sty with ten or twelve Poland-Chinas. Film at 11.

Anonymous said...

Don't need to waste the honey and oats.

If you hogtie him, and cut him enough to make him bleed, the pigs will feed without prompting.

Anonymous said...

Ah, Kristopher, sounds like someone else who tried to cross the hog lot without looking behind him nearly once too often.

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