Saturday, November 01, 2008

Effete Republican Snobs

Oh, raw-thur! Haw!
As a Conservative, I Must Say I Do Quite Like the Cut of this Obama Fellow's Jib
Raw-ther
T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII

Whether McCain wins or loses, I suspect - hope- that IowaHawk's skewering of the Chris Buckley-George Will, Newport Snob-wing of the effete-right,  signals a post election, Palin-led deck clearing.  Raw-thur, eh wot?
When my late father T. Coddington Van Voorhees VI founded the iconoclastic conservative journal National Topsider in 1948, he famously declared that "Now is the time for all good conservative helmsmen to hoist the mizzen, pour the cocktails, and steer this damned schooner hard starboard." In the 60 years since he first uttered it after one-too-many Cosmopolitans at one of Pamela Harriman's notorious foreign policy black tie balls, father's pithy bon mot has served as a rallying cry for conservatives from Greenwich to Chevy Chase. Today, I say it's time for we conservatives to once again grab the rigging and set sail with the flotilla of the true conservative in this race: Barack Obama.

Trust me, I haven't taken this tack lightly. No Van Voorhees has supported an avowed socialist since great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandpapa Cragmont Van Voorhees lent Peter Minuet $24 and a sack of wampum to swing a subprime mortgage on Manhattan Island. Old dad himself often recounted how, as a lad, he would command the family chauffeur Carleton to drive the Duesenberg down to the Times Square Trans-Lux so he could hiss Roosevelt. But I've taken a good measure of this Obama fellow, and I must say I like the cut of the man's jib.

How can I say this, you ask? One look at this Obama chap is all the answer you need. Suave, tanned, unflappable, Harvard connections; it's obvious that here is a man to the conservative manor born. [cont]

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Captain McCain (whose 17 military awards and decorations include the Silver Star, Legion of Merit, Distinguished Flying Cross, Bronze Star and Navy Commendation Medal, for actions before, during, and after his time as a POW) could repair a jib long before Obamao figures out his flotsam from his jetsam.

Anonymous said...

I'll bet dollars to doughnuts that Obamacles doesn't even know what a jib is.

Casca

Anonymous said...

He'd call you a racist for using the term "jib".
Morenuancedthanyou

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