Maine Slaves

AWAKENINGS

It's 5 AM WTF?   I have a president, whose political  incontinence makes it damned hard to sleep.  I have a dog that's becoming  incontinent, has to go out almost hourly, and knows whose feet to lick.  Between the two of them, I'm exhausted. One's gonna have to be put down soon, the other retrained, which thoughts add to my insomnia.   I'm too old for this shit.  I tried to get back to sleep after this latest awakening by listening to some comedy on XM. I got comedian Justin McKinney, whom I'd never heard before, prolly with good reason.  I kept repeating his name so's to remember it, and look up this particular routine about New Hampshire that was epiphanic. But then I had to pee myself, so here I am. In this bit I'm referring to, McKinney bonds with his audience by reminding them that he's a homeboy, raised under some bridge in Portland Maine, and segues into driving into New Hampshire.   "New Hampshire is the only state with no seat belt laws," he begins, which sends the Portland  crowd into knowing hysteria.  Evidently in Maine, NH is the loose woman who's done everyone's boyfriend, and the subject of endless, gossipy admonition. "And the first thing you see when driving into New Hampshire are liquor stores!  Some as big as a mall!" (Howls) "It's like driving into Mexico -- no seat belt laws, no taxes, cheap liquor, cigarettes  ... (howls). That from memory.   I couldn't find that particular bit I'd heard, but  "Love Free or Die" has the flavor. The point I took was, here's an audience receptive to humor that  hinges on the notion that people not having their lives controlled by the state are freaks!  Freedom has become an unnatural condition in Maine, and I suspect every other state in the Northeast, which region btw has not a single Republican elected to the U.S. House of Representatives!  This is why I get excited about talk of secession.  Or,even that G'damn Rapture deal? Anything, even being stabbed in the liver.