Curmudgeonly & Skeptical presents Boned Jello: Kosher Ribs

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Kosher Ribs

Rib update

I've had these babies on the grill, (200º) for about 3 hours. Using Hickory chips in the smoker. Since I made up a double batch of dry rub last night to coat them with, in prep for an overnight stay if the refrigerator, I didn't want to use a wet sauce, especially since I'm out of Cattleman's, and nobody in the area caries it! Another reason Maryland sucks, commie batturds. But, we can't have them drying out, so I took some old Masterpiece, or somesuch sauce I'd previously jazzed up, and watered it down with apple juice. Seems to be working. Maybe two hours to go, but I'm about to wrap them in foil and let them finish in their own juices. Since we're having steamed crabs too, it might could be that nobody even wants them, in which case I'll send them to you.

Rodger the Real King of France 5/24/2009 11:38:00 AM 9 Comments

"If the number of Islamic terror attacks continues at the current rate, candlelight vigils will soon be the number-one cause of global warming. "
Argus Hamilton

9 comments:

Anonymous said...: No rollover, AGAIN!; 5/24/09, 11:46 AM
David said...: Keep the rollover and your steamed crabs. I'll take a rack of those any day.; 5/24/09, 12:26 PM
Anonymous said...: ...I'm up in Owings Mills. I'll even come by & pick 'em up.

leelu; 5/24/09, 2:30 PM
JMcD said...: Ya really know how to hurt a guy....I could eat a rack of those, with rice, right now.; 5/24/09, 3:22 PM
Ed Hamilton said...: You're going to burn in Hell, Rodger!
You've broken the 11th Commandment...AGAIN!

"Thou Shall Not Tease Thy Neighbors With Tasty, Tasty Pork!"

...shame, shame, shame....; 5/24/09, 3:48 PM
Helly said...: Another reason Maryland sucks, commie batturds.I feel your pain. I have to pick up Cattleman's Gold at the Bradenton Sam's Club, haul it to Tampa, fly it to Burlington Int'l, and haul it again to the homestead. Needless to say, I take 4 gallons at a time to keep my unit cost down. And when I say commie bastards in Vermont, I mean it.

I want to congratulate you for profiting on the international swine flu pork giveaway. Same here at the local Costco. Consider bringing home a beautiful pork loin and grinding it into super-delicious sausage. Tip: grind all the meat semi-frozen for excellent sausage texture.

Also, consider reversing your rib cooking sequence. When you finish with moist heat, you get mush.

We don't care for smokey flavor, but whatever. First, heat the closed grill, and braze the ribs in a tightly foil covered hotel pan with a big splash of cider vinegar. That will gelatinize the connective tissue for tenderness, and swiftly complete the cooking process.

Then heavily shake on your seasoning. Gently remove the ribs from the pan and let the surface crisp up in dry heat (with smoke if you like) on the racks.

Serve immediately with squirt bottles of red and gold sauce. Or use side cups if you like warmed up sauce. NEVER baste the meat, because that turns the bark to compost. Just throw that demonic brush away.

Tenderize, moisturize, flavorize, texturize--in half the time--with maximum impact from your seasoning and sauce. Believe me, I can't afford to waste any Cattleman's.; 5/24/09, 3:50 PM
Dr. Hardcrab said...: Had the ribs going since 10 am. You are a better man than me as far as the crabs go. Just can't bring myself to get any until August. Now if someone else invites me over for some.....;-]

Hope everyone is having a great weekend! If you see a vet or a service person, tell them THANKS!!!!; 5/24/09, 5:05 PM
Rodger the Real King of France said...: Here ya go Helly -- I'm buying by the gallon.; 5/24/09, 8:49 PM
BlogDog said...: Umm, Doc, I know you're used to working with the metals, but you're really going to want to BRAISE them ribs.
Enh?
Brazing 'em would be troublesome....; 5/24/09, 8:49 PM

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Kosher Ribs

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