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You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35.
For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10
seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving
us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the
enemy. Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky
soldier is a dangerous soldier.
'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.'
We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some asshole that
desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for
awhile. An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old
guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell.. Besides, like I
said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well
be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch.
If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we
put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real
brainteaser. Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to
getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as
an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.
They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in
combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the
side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training.
Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too. I've
never seen anyone outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world
ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation
with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has
a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head, or that pants are
supposed to be around the hips, not the knees These are all great
reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life
before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down
those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would
want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and
automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind
them. HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You
think MEN have attitudes??
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!
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I think
many of my readers might quibble, as do I, with one assertion Frank
made, and he should know better. See these key board strokes?
. . ( | )
They all make me think of women. For starters. And I served with Teddy Roosevelt before he turned commie.
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